Margaux and I welcome The Walking Dead back into our lives.
Trevor: “Rock in the Road” got off to a pretty shaky start. I’m on record as being against Gregory’s transformation into a full-on cartoon, partly because it’s annoying and partly because it’s a waste of a good character actor like Xander Berkeley (“Let me stop you before you break into song” is straight-up a Jack Donaghy line). But the episode found its footing eventually. Don’t get me wrong, it was slow, and occasionally frustrating, but at least things were happening. Granted, it was just people being moved into place for the revolt against Negan, and it absolutely should have happened in the first half of this season, but I guess the highest praise I can muster for The Walking Dead these days is “I didn’t hate it.”
Margaux: Well, when we kick things off with Father Gabriel trying to save the town, you know we’re off to a dubious start. “Rock in the Road” at least got better as it went along, but a lot of the episode seemed like a spin on 50 Shades of Grey, but instead of spending two hours on a contract negotiation, it was a half hour of Rick trying to get people to join his gang. There was something nearly Disney-like in the way this merry band of survivors went about going from community to community trying to recruit folks for their Negan resistance. One thing The Walking Dead hasn’t managed to shake off in its premiere is its clunky as all hell dialogue, ace work, writers!
Trevor: Oh man, I’m glad you brought up the dialogue, because it annoyed the crap out of me in “Rock.” Even Ezekiel, who I like, was saddled with lines like “I shall deliver my decree in the morn,” which even for Ezekiel is a fuckin’ groaner of a line. (And I know the Internet has a weird crush on Jerry, which I don’t get. He’s good on Halt and Catch Fire, but much like the Internet’s baffling obsession with DJ Khaled, I can’t help but feel that affection is being used to mask people laughing at a heavyset guy.) I have some major problems with the gang’s visit to the Kingdom, which basically boils down to: is a man who insists on being addressed as “your majesty” ever going to defer to you as an equal, or listen to anyone else’s opinion? And then we get Morgan, whose full name is Fuckin’ Morgan, giving us classic Morgan dialogue, which is basically “Negan killed four of us.” “Maybe there’s a nonviolent solution.”
I will say this: the sight of armored men approaching on horseback is surreal enough to be interesting, so I appreciated that.
Margaux: I know Ezekiel was a community theater actor before all this began, but does every scene involving him and his “knights” have to feel and sound that way too? It’s especially difficult to swallow these moments because the audience knows this is all an act, so at what point does Ezekiel drop it? Only around Carol?
I don’t think I’ve dislodged my eyes from the rolling back position since that grating and heavy-handed scene with Ezekiel reading Benjamin’s little brother a lighthearted little bed story called Martin Luther King Jr’s “Free at Last” speech. I mean.
Trevor: I wasn’t a fan of that scene either; in fact, I paid so little attention to it that I’d forgotten it was in the episode until right now.
But: it was nice to see the gang (every time I type that I picture them in situations I’ve seen on Sunny) acting competent for once, and working as a team. Stealing one of Negan’s walkie talkies was a very smart move, and it gave us a funny Negan line (“Without Fat Joey, Skinny Joey is just Joey, so it’s a goddamn tragedy”), but with the way the Saviors meticulously inventory everything, wouldn’t they have noticed the walkie missing right away? Also, I don’t know when Rosita learned how to go all Hurt Locker, but that was a fun scene too, even if the tension was undercut by the knowledge that, no, seven main characters are not going to blow up right now. At least it led to my favorite scene in the episode: two cars and a taut wire being used to decapitate a horde of walkers.
Margaux: It was oddly romantic for Rick and Michonne to not only vow to stick together, but to pull off that mass decapitation, not mention, super fucking cool to look at. It’s probably one of the better zombie kill scenes they’ve done in a really long time.
But, yeah, Rosita. New year, more lines, and apparently, a vast knowledge of explosives. Look, if someone who hates education can run an entire governmental department of education, Rosita can know about dynamite. She does sort of have a Lara Croft, Tomb Raider vibe.
Trevor: Fair enough, I’ll sign on to this moonman logic that the show demands, because it ends up with them having about a dozen sticks of dynamite and a few rocket launchers. That sounds fun, so fuck it.
I do find myself wondering where the show can go from here. I don’t want them to stretch out Rick’s recruitment plan, because just typing that was interminably boring, but we know, thanks to Jeffrey Dean Morgan, that Negan is going to stick around for several seasons. I’ll admit to being intrigued by the group that accosts Rick, Michonne, and Aaron at the end (are they the Whisperers? I haven’t read that far in the books), and actually very intrigued by the smile on Rick’s face that closed the episode, if for no other reason than we haven’t seen someone besides Negan smile on this show for so long.
Margaux: That segues perfectly into what I want to bring up, how things wrap up at the Kingdom. First, Ezekiel passes on Rick’s plan, but grants asylum to Daryl – which proves to be immediately beneficial because not 5 minutes after they drive away, they hear on the walkie that Negan is looking for Daryl. Secondly, Richard – who is told by Jesus when they first meet, that he’s going to smile for the first time in long time, today (spoiler: he doesn’t). But Richard brings up a good point, and is probably only person from the Kingdom who seems sane, that every day they provide for the Saviors, is another day where they get stronger. Man makes a great point, but maybe he could’ve brought that up in front the King and tiger.
Trevor: That’s very true, but I guess Morgan had the floor and because of what I assume is strict parliamentary procedure, Richard was unable to speak.
Margaux: This is the dumbest thing you’ve ever said with sincerity, and we wrote about Beth at Slabtown.
Trevor: To me, this is a solid three-star episode. It’s pretty middle of the road in terms of quality; it dangles some interesting plots threads, but all too often finds itself bogged down with dumb actions and dumber dialogue.
Margaux: And when did they get a new score? You guys aren’t The Knick, stop trying to be cool.
I didn’t hate “Rock in the Road”; I did hate the namesake folklore story Rick told Ezekiel though, what the fuck is up with everyone having horrible bedtime stories?!
“Rock in the Road” was too much too late, but for this show, not as bad as it could be. I’m not buoyed up by the dangling plot threads because it’s hard to tell which ones they’ll follow through with, and the girl gang that holds up Rick, Michonne, and Aaron at the end will most likely end up like “Swear”, everyone least favorite episode last season. Middle of the rocky road earns its middling three stars.
3/5
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