Urban Pirate is a Strategy/Simulation game by BABY DUKA and BD Games. It’s meant to be about small time, low level crime. It really turns out to be about building an empire to your laziness. It’s less Tony Montana introducing the world to his little friend and simultaneously featuring on almost every episode of MTV’s Cribs, and more living like a crazed, shoplifting hobo.
Your nameless, hoodied character decided to quit his job and live the life of an urban pirate (smelly, dumpster diving lunatic). Since money is a precious resource since you have no income and you have to eat, you usually have two options: dumpster dive for food, or shoplift like the low moral person you are. This is where things start to get dicey; almost everything in this game seems to run on an RNG. Granted, that RNG is influenced for most things by your sanity level (more on that later), with 10 sanity guaranteeing success when shoplifting and boosting the likelihood of success when dumpster diving, with low sanity increasing the chance of failure.
But it’s not all dumpster diving and shoplifting, though those are the two most common activities you’ll engage in. You also need to keep that sanity up for more than just success. Let it slip to zero, and your character will somehow be able to afford rope and a chair.There are a number of ways to gain sanity; smoking weed will up your sanity by one, but increase your hunger by the same. Socializing with your fellow hobos pirates offers a number of random scenarios, ranging from granting one to three sanity; some give you a free meal, some give you weed, and some waste your money in the bar. Since getting caught with weed will send you to jail (waste five days) or prison (game over, only happens when you have too much on you), it’s the least optimal choice. Socializing is random, however it is the default method of increasing your sanity. But then you can eventually unlock the best sanity farm: The skating minigame.
As it can increase your sanity from anywhere from 1 to 6 points based on your performance, unlocking it sends the others to the wayside. Socialitzing? Skate it away. Weed? No thanks, you’re high on that sweet, sweet air. Since your character gets better the more you practice, and you unlock and get better with moves the more you use them, it winds up being the best way to ensure you can get food whenever you want. But RNGesus giveth, and RNGesus taketh away. Even at max levels, tricks still have a chance of failure. wipe out four times, and you lose that bonus sanity you worked for. It was so bad early on, that the devs actually patched it to make it less evil. Even then, botchamania can still occur.
If you get caught shoplifting, you have to run from the store detective. It is possible to straight up outrun him (though it gets harder and adds more obstacles the further in the game you are), but it’s more expedient to simply chuck one of the food items you stole at him right from the get go. The dog he has later on also takes one item to get rid of, though, so just having max sanity is the better option. You also have to evade the cops on the streets,but they have a simple pattern so avoiding them is easy enough, especially if you have weed on you. Less easy is fighting the cops when they siege the squat; the minigame isn’t fun and skating is always better, so you only bother with that when you absolutely have to.
As you progress, you’re given more to worry about. You eventually recruit a crew, which demands a massive party every couple of days. Blow that time dumpster diving, shoplifting, and skating instead, and you might have a mutiny on your hands (game over, start the chapter again). A rival or the police can also hire a hitman if you get in their way a bit too often, but move erratically and he’ll eventually give up.
Graphically, the game looks like an early gen game. Its got pixels the size of dinner plates and a lot of the design touches of those sorts of games. The sound is all chiptunes and the like. It’s not bad, but it’s not likely to go in my playlist anytime soon.
So do I recommend Urban Pirate? Sort of? It very quickly boils down to a number of repetitive tasks necessary for your character to survive. It’s not like it isn’t fun unlocking things that make your life easier or purchasing skills with street cred. You are, however, very much at the mercy of the RNG a lot of the time. If it appeals to you at its $7 price point, chances are it’s your type of game. But I don’t know that the average person will feel the same.
Pros:
+ Live the delinquent life
+ Smell like garbage and pot
+ Go insane
Cons:
– That skating RNG
– Fighting the cops sucks noodles
– Style might put some off
*We were provided a copy of this game for review*
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