The characters on Once Upon a Time never shut up about true love and the power of magic, which is why it seems like such a cynical cash grab to bring Frozen to Storybrooke so quickly. Keep in mind, Frozen came out last year, and while it was a massive hit, it doesn’t change the fact that its characters show up here mainly as brand synergy. Elsa even quotes “Let It Go,” kind of (when Emma asks if she’s cold, Elsa replies, “It’s never bothered me”). I’d be much more okay with this if Elsa and Anna had something – anything – to do, but that’s definitely not the case in “White Out.”
Basically, everyone is trapped in a Metallica song this week – Elsa and Emma do their version of “Trapped Under Ice,” while Snow is stuck in “Fuel.” I know that doesn’t explain much, but it’s a solid joke.
Elsa puts up an ice barrier around Storybrooke and decides that no one is getting out until she finds Anna. Unfortunately, when Emma goes to investigate, a startled Elsa causes a sort of cave collapse (it was hard to tell, because this sequence was very poorly directed and rendered) that leaves her and Emma trapped. Elsa won’t melt the wall until Anna is found, but mainly she won’t melt the wall because she can’t, which is bad news for Emma, who is quickly succumbing to frostbite, or just willing herself to die rather than sit through this storyline.
This dovetails akwardly with the fairy tale flashback portion of “White Out,” where Charming (who knows Kristof) meets Anna, because it’s not enough for Once Upon a Time to have a bunch of fairy tale characters, they all have to have crossed paths at one point. Anna shows up at Charming’s farm so he can help on her “mission,” which is what again? She won’t tell Charming, but it’d be nice to remind the audience. Anyway, it’s all buildup so we can see that Charming is in hock to a villainous Cockney Bo Peep (a delightful Robin Weigert), and blah blah blah Anna teaches Charming to stand up for himself. You can tell this was important to him because of how much we’ve heard about it in the last three seasons. Oh, did I say important? I meant “half-assed retcon.”
The important thing is that in Storybrooke, David can use Bo Peep’s staff to find Anna. Also, the power took a shit, so naturally Grumpy, Happy, and Granny come to Snow White about it, saying that since she brought everyone back to Storybrooke, she’s the mayor now. Like she doesn’t have enough on her plate! The woman is still breastfeeding!
The power’s off because the fuel isn’t pumping. So Snow turns it back on. That’s it. This is the most boring subplot I’ve ever seen.
It’s fine that Frozen is here. It was bound to happen. But Kitsis & Horowitz need to figure out what to do with these characters, especially because Elizabeth Lail and Georgina Haig are doing such fine work as Anna and Elsa, respectively. But right now, with so little narrative heft, it feels like ABC, and thus Disney, is saying to us, “Hey, look! Remember Frozen? Go buy it on BluRay!”
A Few Thoughts
- This episode raised more questions than answers. Why did Anna come to Charming? Why wasn’t the fuel pumping? When is Hook going to get new clothes? Why is Anna going to Rumpelstiltskin (she talks about her parents not liking magic, but her parents are super dead)
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Lost‘s Elizabeth Mitchell shows up at the end as some kind of snow queen, I think?
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Jared S. Gilmore has gotten better at acting, but Henry is still a little bitch
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To wit: Henry tells Regina “I belong here,” yet he spends all his time with Emma. That’s pretty emotionally manipulative
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