I like True Blood. Sometimes I even love it. But “Almost Home” was an episode that dared you to like the series. It was purposefully, confrontationally stupid, and I am legitimately mad at True Blood for airing it. There were only two significant plot developments, surrounded by an hour’s worth of fucking nothing. Here was my reaction through most of this piece of shit episode:
First of all, the most egregious error made by “Almost Home” is in the attention paid to the Tara/Lafayette/Lettie Mae subplot. Lafeyette and Lettie Mae are still digging in those strangers’ front lawn, and the Reverend Daniels shows up. Lettie Mae insists that he takes V with them so he can see that Tara’s appearances are real. Which raises the question, how does V work, exactly? In season one, it just made Jason and Lizzy Caplan trip balls and have sex. With other characters, it just heals them quicker. But Lettie Mae and Lafayette share the same vision, which Rev. Daniels is able to see as well. Moreover, it’s a vision from Tara’s youth – from Tara’s point of view – which leads me to believe that V acts as some It’s a Wonderful Life shit. Furthermore, Lettie Mae is a dyed in the wool addict, and her insistence that the Reverend take V is really fucked up. It’s your junkie girlfriend saying “If you love me you’ll smoke this.” Then Lafayette calls James up – “I arrived as soon as I got your text,” James says – just so he and Lettie Mae can drink his blood. Remember that love story between James and Lafayette that sweetly blossomed over the course of a few episodes? Gone. James is no more than a booty call at this point. Lafayette only called him for his blood, and to hammer that point home, when James shows up, Lafayette doesn’t say a fucking word to him. I’m so over this entire subplot. It’s boring (and offensively bad), and moreover it shows True Blood‘s unwillingness to let the dead stay dead. Did anyone really want more Tara? Besides Rutina Wesley, I mean?
“Almost Home” continues to shove Jason and Bridget down our throats too. While hanging out and drinking with Hoyt and Bridget (while he’s on duty, naturally), Jason gets called to Violet’s sex dungeon (if Violet has this HUGE mansion in Monroe, why were she and Jason living in his ramshackle lean-to in Bon Temps?) and has to go save Adilyn and Wade. Hoyt and Bridget get in a fight and Bridget storms out to go with Jason. “I’m mad cause your mom died and you don’t wanna talk about having kids! I’m going with this cop I just met to fight a vampire!” Whatever. Jason gets captured by Violet, Hoyt saves everybody. It’s always nice to see Jim Parrack back on screen, and I’m glad Violet met the true death, but I didn’t buy Violet’s sudden transition to a villain, and this whole plot pretty much just existed to get Hoyt and Jessica back in the same room.
To be fair, “Almost Home” wasn’t all bad – just mostly bad. Jim Parrack as Hoyt was great, as I said, and his scenes with Jessica – and, later, Jason – were genuinely affecting, as he got to know these people who, unbeknownst to him, had had such a huge impact on his life. Deborah Ann Woll continues to impress, even with subpar material (tonight was especially bad, as she told Jason they had a “beautiful friendship,” then kissed him passionately on the lips. Mixed signals much?). And Alexander Skarsgaard was awesome as usual.
It’s not so much that I didn’t like “Almost Home” (but don’t get me wrong, I hated it). It’s that, if someone walked in on me watching it, I’d be embarrassed. If someone asked what I was watching, I’d say I was just channel surfing. I mean, Jesus fucking Christ, True Blood, with THREE episodes left in the series, this is what you’re going to dump in viewers’ laps?
A Few Thoughts
- I don’t want to think about this episode anymore
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