I know it sounds crazy, but there has been a decided lack of giant robot fights on Transformers: Robots in Disguise. And I’m sure we all dig giant robots. It changes now.
Two guys are drag racing in the Los Angeles Crown City River, when something scuttles across their path. They stop, and one guy gets out of his car to check it out. It’s a good thing he did, because the thing they saw reaches a claw out of the sewer pipe its hiding in and smashes his car, dragging it into the pipe. Terrified, both guys hop in the other car and floor it out of there.
The next day, Strongarm drives up and tries to sneak back into the junkyard. Sucks to be her, because Sideswipe catches her. He now owns her ass, because blackmail is a bitch like that. Any time there’s something he’s supposed to do, he’ll have his good buddy Strongarm take care of it. If this was anything like my family, it would likely hang over her head like the sword of Damocles forever.
Back at the base, Bee is totally glitching out. He’s nervous because things have been quiet… too quiet, which is exactly the sort of thing someone says in an action movie right before a bayonet or something comes bursting out of their chest. And they only had three days left until retirement! Anyway, Fixit and Denny get everyone together to announce that they made replica Decepticon Hunters for all… except Grimlock. Works out for him, because he prefers punching, which isn’t exactly something T-rexes are known for, but whatever, he’s a robot.
The alarm pops, and they head out to catch the Decepticon. Unfortunately for them, they wind up having to search the sewers storm control tunnels. They’re scummy and awful looking, because the sewer storm control tunnel level always sucks. They’re gonna reek forever after this. Sideswipe blackmails Strongarm into going down a crappy tunnel he didn’t want to.
By following some strange tracks, bee eventually catches up with their Decepticon. His name is Clampdown (Voiced by Jim Cummings), and he’s a crab. Is it fucking Giant Enemy Crab week, or something? Anyway, Clampdown’s a paranoid little snitch, and he’s currently worried about the imminent arrival of some stitches. He offers to sic them on the guy likely hunting him down. They’re not having it. And their attempt to cuff him causes him to panic and run, which freaks Grimlock out. He doesn’t like crabs, and I think we have that in common. Fuckin’ sea spiders.
He ultimately gets away by clamping down on the pipes every city in America has in their sewers storm control tunnels. And who should be waiting right at the end of his escape but Steeljaw. He takes Clampdown to his hideout to meet the team, which includes Fracture. Shit goes sideways (ha!) when Thunderhoof shows up. Apparently, Clampdown, a snitch to the bone, double crossed Thunderhoof, and now Thunderhoof would like nothing more than to straight up kill him. This, naturally, scares Clampdown off, and Steeljaw isn’t happy about it. He orders everyone after him, because he knows too much.
The Autobots catch up with Clampdown first at a literal dump. He tries to deal his way out of things by offering to give up the location of Steeljaw’s hideout. Bee actually accepts, much to Strongarm’s surprise. Too bad Steeljaw and crew show up. It is then on in a manner similar to Donkey Kong.Everyone pairs off; Bumblebee versus Steeljaw, Grimlock versus Underbite, Fracture’s minicons versus Strongarm, and Sideswip versus Thunderhoof, then Fracture because Thunderhoof really wants to kill Clampdown. The fight between Bumblebee and Steeljaw takes a dark turn when Bee gets knocked out and Steeljaw tosses him into a garbage compactor along with Oswald Cobblepot.
Sideswipe saves him, by jamming a steel pipe in the gears. Bee gets back into the fight while Steeljaw is distracted. Meanwhile, Grimlock simultaneously has the excellent and terrible luck of fighting Underbite in a garbage dump. It’s filled with metal for Underbite to eat, yes, but it also has plastic, which totally screws with Underbite’s steez. Strongarm and Sideswipe make short work of Fracture and his Minicons through the use of trickery. Thunderhoof and Clampdown manage to knock each other out.
Bee takes down Steeljaw, and everyone cuffs their opponents, with Sideswipe once again blackmailing Strongarm to do the work for him. Clampdown complains that they made a deal, and Bumblebee tells him that his deal didn’t cover the time he evaded arrest and assaulting officers of the law earlier in the episode. Steeljaw, however, successfully picks his cuffs and runs for the docks nearby. He snaps the moorings of the garbage barge there, and pushing it into a collision course with a small sightseeing boat that apparently decided that the city dump was truly a sight to behold. Bee makes the decision that the people are more important than Steeljaw and the prisoners, getting the rest of the team to help him stop the barge.
Steeljaw frees his companions while they’re occupied. He inducts Clampdown by damaging the tracker symbol as he did with the rest. Fracture asks him how they can trust Clampdown to not sell them out at the first opportunity. Stelljaw implies that Clampdown knows that they’d feed him parts of his anatomy if he crosses them.
Strongarm can’t take the blackmail anymore, and tells Bumblebee that she’s been sneaking off without leave. Bumblebee tells them that he already knew that, which freaks both her and Sideswipe out. He just wants to know what she’s been doing. Turns out that she’s been sneaking off to a CONVENIENTLY 100% AUTOMATED car wash after missions. He actually approves, as even he finds it relieves his stress.
Final Thoughts:
– God I love Frank Stallone as Thunderhoof.
– Fracture totally turns into a motorcycle now.
– I’m progressively more certain that no one in Crown City actually has a job.
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