We’ve gotten a lot of body horror in the last month of Transformers: Robots in Disguise, haven’t we? Well, the good news is that all of that is behind us. The bad news is that you’d better be ready for some more.
Sideswipe is pretty proud of his body. Regular Mr. I’m-so-awesome-and-you-suck. Goes on and on about how much faster and stronger he is than the others in his size class.
So they’re out on a mission, and as usual, he can’t keep from bragging and taking potshots at Strongarm. He’s somewhere in a subway tunnel scouting ahead, while she gets to tow Grimlock. Apparently he has to be careful not to be seen by the (no doubt) fully automated trains and their likely fully automated passengers. He fires off one more quip before something knocks him down and menaces him.
The rest of the team show up. Bee and Grimlock are concerned, since they haven’t heard anything from Sideswipe the entire time. Fixit can’t really pick anything up on his PKE meter, either, just the general direction of the Decepticon and Sideswipe. They split up to go looking for him.
Meanwhile, Sideswipe wakes to find himself strapped to an operating table that wouldn’t look out of place in a futuristic Frankenstein castle. The Decepticon, Vertebreak, runs up the episode’s creepy quotient in this scene alone. He’s a mad scientist sort, obviously, and goes on and on about how Sideswipe’s body stood out amongst the others, because he’s apparently been watching them for some time. Sideswipe’s request to be untied to shake his hand is met with crazed laughter.
Fixit tells Bumblebee that he’s now getting two signals that read as Sideswipe, with the stronger of the two coming right towards them. Bumblebee realizes that this is not Sideswipe once he gets a chunk of rail chucked at him. Bumblebee gets his yellow ass kicked.
Vertebreak gets away, and Bee asks Fixit to check the manifest, and they pass on the discovery that Vertebreak was put on the Alchemor for the study of illegal surgical techniques.He lets Strongarm and Grimlock know that Verteswipe is coming their way, then continues to search for the real Sideswipe. They find the lab, and Sideswipe helps them play a game of hot and cold to find him.
After the initial shock, Fixit examines the device his head is in. He determines that it’s temporarily keeping him alive with a low level of energon, but that they should get his head re-attached quick. It’s sort of like that creepy film with the Russian scientists keeping the head of a dog alive via an early heart and lung machine. Bee asks Fixit if they could just graft Sideswipe’s head to Vertebreak’s body for the time being, but Fixit shoots the idea down since he’s still trying to figure out Vertebreak’s notes. Bee and Sideswipe’s head in a jar go to help the others.
Apparently, Sideswipe’s body really is all that and a bag of chips, because he makes short work of Strongarm and Grimlock. To be fair they’re pulling their punches to avoid damaging his body. Strongarm gets beat.
They all catch up to Grimlock fighting Verteswipe in one of the tunnels. Sideswipe notices that, despite being in control of his awesome body, Veterbreak telegraphs like a motherfucker. He’s literally button mashing the shit out of the Autobots. Grimlock finally connects with a punch, laying Verteswipe out. They pick him up with the intention of fixing this mess. Unfortunately, the train schedule had other plans.
Grimlock is slow, the train is fast. This is a problem, but they manage to get out of the tunnel just in time by having Grimlock lay on top of Bumblebee and Sideswipe in their alt forms. Vertebreak gets woken up by this, though, and they have to fight him all over again. Sidswipe feels useless, until he remembers that Vertebreak telegraphs and starts calling out moves to the team. They knock him out again, and take him to the lab to fix the whole thing.
Sideswipe finally gets his body back. Fixit tells him to take it easy until they get back to the junkyard and run some tests, but Sideswipe makes a bet that he’s still the fastest. Sucks to be him, though, because he can’t even transform, and even Grimlock beats him back to base.
This one kind of zigzagged for me. I was disappointed that they didn’t just put Sideswipe’s head on Vertebreak’s body, since it would’ve been hilarious. On the other hand, they actually showed some restraint by not making all of the head puns they possibly could, and I’m appreciative of that.
Final Thoughts:
- Grimlock is worried about his weight. He’s been reading women’s magazines again, hasn’t he?
- Did they just make a couple of Halloween episodes for shits and giggles or something?
- Crown City is so automated, I have no idea why they need so many automated trains.
About Author
