The answer to your question is: really bad.
The Department of Justice has arrested a DeFi investor and his wife for allegedly laundering $4.5 billion in cryptocurrency which was stolen from a cryptocurrency exchange.
Ilya Lichtenstein, 34, and Heather Morgan, 31, are accused of using a “labyrinth of cryptocurrency transactions” to launder $4.5 billion in cryptocurrency stolen from Bitfinex, an exchange based in the Virgin Islands. Bitfinex was hacked back in 2016, during which the hacker made over 2000 unauthorized transactions. And wouldn’t you know it? All of those transactions went to a digital wallet authorities discovered that belonged to Lichtenstein. The Feds say that over the past half-decade, ~25,000 bitcoin has been transferred from the wallet to “financial accounts controlled” by the couple. Over 94,000 bitcoin remains in the wallet.
The Feds got a search warrant to take a peek through their online accounts. The DoJ says that they found private cryptographic keys to the aforementioned crypto wallet. Agents seized the remaining bitcoin from the wallet, which equates to about $3.6 billion; according to the agents, the largest financial seizure in history.
The couple reportedly used a number of tactics to hide their actions; false identities and laundering funds through darknet marketplaces. The Justice Department says Lichtenstein and Morgan managed to launder 119,754 bitcoin, equal to several billion dollars.
“In a futile effort to maintain digital anonymity, the defendants laundered stolen funds through a labyrinth of cryptocurrency transactions. Thanks to the meticulous work of law enforcement, the department once again showed how it can and will follow the money, no matter what form it takes.
Deputy Attorney General Lisa O. Monaco
Based on what is supposedly Lichtenstein’s LinkedIn, he’s about what you usually expect from these sorts of white collar crimes. He even describes himself there as an “angel investor in promising startups and crypto technologies”. Where this whole thing gets interesting is with Morgan. She owns a company called Salesfolk, which deals in “email copywriting”. She also has a TikTok, where she describes herself as a“Serial entrepreneur & SaaS investor. Writer, rapper &artist w/ synesthesia”. In several of her videos, she described herself as having “built a multimillion dollar business” in her twenties with “ZERO outside funding”.
But the crème de la crème would be the fact that she also goes by the rap name Razzlekhan; oh yes, she has music. Moreover, she’s a verified artist on Spotify. Her site, which contains several of her songs hosted on Soundcloud, describes her as “The infamous Crocodile of Wall Street” and also claims that due to her “synesthesia, her art often resembles something in between an acid trip and a delightful nightmare”. She also had a YouTube channel, but she privated almost everything off of it; including the music video for Versace Bedouin (thankfully? reuploaded by others). I’m going to warn you, this music is bad, as in terrible. So before you click any of this keep in mind this: you can get a good look at a T-bone steak by sticking your head up a bull’s ass, but wouldn’t you rather take a butcher’s word for it?
Look, I’ll be honest with you; if you can make it through more than 14 seconds of this shit without feeling the enamel peel off of your teeth, you’re better than I am.
The duo face charges for money laundering and conspiracy to defraud the United States. If convicted, they could face up to 25 years in prison.
Source: Gizmodo
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