Margaux and I bid farewell to The Walking Dead.
Trevor: What a great opening “Conquer” had. We finally get to see Morgan again, and we get more background on the Wolves, who as it turns out are not Rick’s group, although I think that metaphor still holds up.
Margaux: I know we haven’t gotten too much backstory on Morgan, he’s sort of been orbiting outside the group since “Clear,” but hot damn, what is he, A JEDI?! How’d he learned to be a better badass than Rick? He took down two ‘Wolves’ AND saved Aaron and Darryl from the wolves trap when they were surrounded by zombies? Hats off to you, sir.
Trevor: Yeah, that was awesome watching him kick those guys’ asses (I’m a simple man in a lot of ways). Especially after the borderline-civil conversation he had with the first Wolf. (I hope we learn names right away in season six, because I don’t relish the idea of using Wolf 1 and Wolf 2.) And Morgan seems to have bounced back from “Clear,” in terms of his sanity. He’s out there alone and has maintained a better grasp on himself than Rick has.
Margaux: Exactly. And speaking of Rick’s mental stability, after Michonne cold clocked him, he does seem to be bit…better. At least as good he’s ever gonna get within the walls of Alexandria. It was interesting to watch Rick really struggle with basic communication with humans that aren’t in his group, even the ones in his group, he really had a hard time making his point without ending his statements with, “or we’ll just slit their throats if they don’t get what I’m putting down.”
Trevor: He should start asking people if they smell what the Rick is cooking.
And you’re right about his mental state, he seems a little more rooted in reality. I guess he just needed a hard reset. One thing I liked seeing in “Conquer” – in the whole latter half of the season, really – is that Carol is just as crazy as Rick, she’s just way more soft-spoken about it, casually mentioning that all they would need is knives to take over Alexandria. “These people are children, and children like stories.” The contempt in that line is palpable.
Carol has zero patience for Pete’s shit too. She busted out the cholo brass knuckle knife and scared him so bad he couldn’t even eat the spaghetti or casserole or whatever.
Margaux: I’m not sure if Carol is dangerous or should start her own PR firm. I think Pete had definitely got her feeling some type of way, what with her experience with Ed, and was exorcising some PTSD on him that ended – sort of – backfiring on her.
I can’t totally say Carol is a “sociopath” even though she was coolly terrifying, but her heart is always in the right place and is clearly just trying to protect the group yet, everyone sort of acted out of character in one or another during “Conquer.”
Trevor: Well, Gabriel was fully in character, because he’s always been the worst. I would have been less mad at him if he’d left the gate open on purpose, because I’d rather have him be malicious than stupid, it makes for more interesting TV.
Margaux: UGH FATHER GABRIEL. That bitch ass, mark ass, trick ass, traitor! I’m not sure who I wanted to die more in that episode, him or Nicholas. Either way, MISTAKE letting either of those motherdicks live.
Seriously, how Sasha didn’t just shoot him where he stood when he basically blamed her for Bob’s death and went on to criticize her dead brother. It’s like, if Father Gabriel wasn’t enough of a waste of space, he can’t even do the one thing he supposedly feels gifted to do, guide those who are lost. TWICE, TWICE! He turned away people who came him for help, once a bitch ass mark, always a bitch ass mark.
Trevor: Well put. He needs to die or start being a productive member of the group. Ditto for Sasha, because right now she and Gabriel are the most tiresome members, in my opinion at least. But “Conquer” ends with them basically singing “Kumbaya” with Maggie, so maybe that’s a good sign.
To switch gears for a sec – sweet motorcycle pun – Daryl and Aaron continue to be awesome as best friends. I’m digging it. And I know that The Walking Dead will never, ever kill Daryl lest they kill their ratings at the same time, but that notwithstanding there was still a real sense of peril when he and Aaron were trapped in that car.
Margaux: I had a hard time buying into that whole scenario to begin with, it felt really forced the way they made them get into the van – no pun intended. I mean, Aaron and Darryl, they have A LOT of experience between them with being on the “outside.” When they give up on red poncho man (RIP) and find the cannery, the place is HUGE for just the two of them to cover, why wouldn’t they come back with more people to do a proper run? And Darryl opening up the truck without any sort of walker precaution? That rang loudly false to me.
Trevor: I’ll grant you that. It was definitely a way to get them in the car, which was a way for them to meet Morgan. So there was definitely an air of narrative convenience to the whole thing.
Side note: in an interview Norman Reedus said we should “bring the Kleenex” to the finale. What was he referring to? For a minute there I was worried for Glenn, but Glenn keeps it pretty real. The fact that we didn’t see him fight off those walkers was, I thought, one of “Conquer”’s wisest choices. TWD did the same thing with Tyreese a while back. It’s a good move if you don’t use it too often.
Margaux: Again, going back to what I said earlier about characters acting very out of character in order to move plot. Why the fuck did Glenn feel the need to follow dumbass Nicolas into the woods to get shot? I refuse to believe that Glenn didn’t think that was a flat out lure. So, if Glenn didn’t follow Nicolas out there to finally effing kill the prick, like he should of two episodes ago, what was the point of that, if not to lead the audience to believe that Glenn could be a goner. I don’t appreciate the emotional manipulation.
Trevor: I just wish he’d killed Nick, who you know is just going to be a problem again in the future. Fuckin hate that dude. But killing him would have been a Rick move, not a Glenn move.
Margaux: Speaking of Rick moves, how about him choking a walker till its head exploded last night because Father Gabriel is a moron who doesn’t know how to close a goddamn gate. I’m glad Rick ended up using a dead walker to illustrate his point of how vulnerable Alexandria is and how unprepared they are for a real threat. Which, also gets proven again, literally moments later.
Trevor: Yeah, there’s a whole Bedtime Stories thing going on where if you say something it happens, like, right away. I expected Rick to storm into that meeting pissed the fuck off, but it was a nice change of pace to get the patented Grimes Speech that wasn’t a bunch of crazy shouting. “I’ll show you how [to survive].” He seems more like his old self. Of course that doesn’t stop him from killing Pete, but that dickhead ran in waving a goddamn samurai sword.
Margaux: Fuckin’ Pete, dude. After Carol threatened him (sidenote: Carol has given 2 out of 3 members of that family a verbal shakedown), Pete spent most of “Conquer” skulking around Alexandria like the fucking Phantom of the Opera. And when he wasn’t present at the meeting of Rick Grimes: Crazy Dude or Nah? Why didn’t it seem suspect that Pete wasn’t there but they noticed Father Gabriel’s absence pretty quick (mark ass bitch). Moving him into another house is one thing but he’s a known violent, drunk and Rick’s idea of having surveillance on him made and makes a lot sense. Especially in light of Pete’s sword-waving-breakdown.
PS: Was Sam at that fucked up meeting? I know Jessie was but, damn – Sam might end up worse than Carl I-shot-my-Mom Grimes.
Trevor: Sam wasn’t there, which was probably for the best, because he’s having a weird-ass childhood. The woman who promised she’d feed him to zombies is now, weirdly enough, his friend and protector, and the strange policeman who wants to bang his mom just murdered his dad.
And LOL at Morgan walking in at the worst possible time. I hope Daryl gave Morgan some info on the new Rick. “Rick will be psyched to see you, but you should know that he’s pretty damn crazy, and there’s a good fuckin chance we’re going to walk in on him murdering someone.”
Margaux: Hahahahaha. I really did laugh out loud and pretty hard at Morgan showing up directly following Rick shooting a man, being held down by Abraham, in the fuckin’ head. WELCOME HOME, FRIENDO!
But seriously, where was that Kleenex moment cause I did more laughing during “Conquer” than I did crying. Father Gabriel actually did most of the crying for everyone I thought, after he popped his cherry killing a walker AND a walker victim. Oh boo hoo, I can’t live or die!
Trevor: Gabriel sucks, and he’s retroactively killing any goodwill that Seth Gilliam had after The Wire.
Okay, as you know, I like to grade both the episode and the season. You wanna talk stars for “Conquer,” or do you have anything more to add? Don’t let me steamroll you, I know I’m very intimidating.
Margaux: Only that I’m vaguely concerned about the wolves plotline. Not scared concerned, bored concerned. The wolves seem like another semi-pointless villain that don’t have a greatly thought out ‘master plan’ but are just ‘evil’ and we’ve done that a lot on The Walking Dead. But I suppose that’s a problem for season six.
Trevor: It’s been talked up so much this season that they have to really nail it.
Margaux: Any thoughts on the teaser for The Walking Dead spin-off coming this Summer?
Trevor: It definitely looks like a show. The teaser didn’t reveal much, but I’ll watch anything with Kim Dickens in it, and no matter how much people are bitching about the title (which I don’t mind, for the record), the fact is that it has three magic words in – “the,” “walking,” and “dead” – so everyone complaining knows they’re going to tune in, and it’s probably time to shut the fuck up.
Margaux: Well then, on that note, stars for “Conquer” and the second half of The Walking Dead?
Trevor: 3.5 and 4, respectively. “Conquer” went a long way towards resetting the status quo, because TWD knows that it can’t have Rick and the Wolves as villains. The season got off to a rocky start, but really course-corrected once everyone arrived at Alexandria.
Margaux: I second your star ratings and critiques of “Conquer” and season 5B of TWD – ignoring the wonky Rick/Jessie puppy love, I think they really hit their stride in Alexandria and did a great job of also subtly channeling some the hopes the group used to have for civilization when they were back at the prison.
Trevor: Glad we agree. And now we can focus all our attention on Mad Men!
Margaux: Can you say best zombie Jesus birthday present EVER?!?!
“Conquer” score: 3.5 stars
The Walking Dead season 5B score: 4 stars
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