No thank you, pears are disgusting.
The game awards have come and gone, leaving behind trailers, tears, and the lingering scent of Mountain Dew and Doritos. So, without further adew here’s the trailers:
But before anything else, the announcement of Sephiroth For Super Smash Bros. Ultimate came first. Everybody else came second. Thank you for listening to my crude sex joke.
Ark II
Starring Vin Diesel as Vin Diesel: Dinosaur Hunter
Century: Age of Ashes
Crimson Desert
Endless Dungeon
Evil Dead: The Game
Oh yeah, it’ bringing it all together.
Groovy.
Evil West
F.I.S.T.
Ghosts ‘n Goblins: Resurrection
I can’t wait for people to start calling this the Dark Souls of 2D platforming so I can call them pussies and tell them to play the older ones.
Loop Hero
Mass Effect
Open Roads
Perfect Dark
Road 96
Season
Shady Part of Me
Tchia
The Callisto Protocol
We Are OFK
The Awards
Somehow, The Last of Us Part II managed to sweep and win 7 of the 10 wards it was nominated for; it won Game of the Year, Best Game Direction, Best Narrative, Best Audio Design, Best Performance for Laura Bailey as Abby, Innovation in Accessibility (which even I’d argue it deserved), and Best Action/Adventure. All in a year where tons of legitimately great games were released. You’ve read the room once again, Doritos Pope.
On the plus side, Ghost of Tsushima won Best Art Direction as well as Player’s Voice (i.e. one of the only awards actually worth a damn), and Hades won Best Action and Best Indie. Final Fantasy VII Remake managed to win Best Role Playing and Best Score and Music despite mostly arranging a 20+ year old soundtrack. Phasmophobia won Best Debut, Among Us won Best Multiplayer and Best Mobile Game, Animal Crossing New Horizons won Best Family, Microsoft Flight Simulator won Best Sim/Strategy. And, somehow, Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater 1 + 2, a remake of two 20-year-old games, won Best Sports/Racing. Not that I don’t agree with that, but it still made me laugh.
So congratulations to the winners.
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