How are they gonna explain all the pipes, then?
Welp, it’s official: Mario isn’t a plumber anymore. At least, according to the character profiles Nintendo put up for the Super Mario Bros. series on their Japanese site. Roughly translated (and edited to not sound balls to the wall insane):
Great at sports, whether it’s tennis, baseball, soccer or car racing, he [Mario] does everything cool.
Actually, he seems to have worked as a plumber long ago ….
All in all, it actually make sense. Aside from the crappy cartoons from the 80’s/90’s, when was the last time you saw Mario do any plumbing? Like, the original Mario Bros.? In general, Mario’s profession is what they need it to be for the game in question. Do you really think Mario went through years of medical school while also learning several trades?
I’m just wondering what this change in canon will mean for MovieBob. I mean, they’re already not from Brooklyn anymore. Mario was pretty much the only blue-collar anything Bob doesn’t have seething hot contempt for. You know, considering everything outside of a coastal, Blue state is a “one-story meth desert” to him.
Mario and Luigi engage the gigantic Bowser in battle, pummeling him until he lies still on the ever-unsure floor. The enemy defeated, they turn to leave with Peach and Yoshi… but Luigi looks back, noting that Bowser is “still moving.” Mario nods grimly, tells Yoshi to escape with Peach. She doesn’t understand why they need to “finish” Bowser – “It’s an Italian thing,” “It’s a Brooklyn thing.”
–Bob “MovieBob” Chipman’s Godawful Super Mario Bros. movie pitch
Jesus H. Christ, Bob, it’s Super Mario Bros., not The Sopranos. Regardless, this move pushes Mario even further into the “Jack-of-All-Trades” role, I suppose. Which I’m certain someone’s going to whine about in the future.
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