It’s fun to go in to an episode knowing someone is doomed to fail. In this case, Jaime the Mailman. We remember him, right? Jaime? The Mailman? Steven sang a short song about him? Roughly 50 episodes ago? Had, like, five lines before disappearing into the ether? You know, Jaime!
The episode opens with Steven and Connie taking selfies. It’s sorta cute how they get along despite all of the craziness inherent in Steven’s life. But none of this matters because Jaime shows up! and he’s got all of the mail that he wasn’t delivering for the past 54 episodes. He’s the only postman who actually knows where Steven lives, somehow, so it was just Piling up while Jaime was in Kansas, trying to become an actor. You know, where all the big budget movies are made, Kansas. I think the postal service doesn’t pay all that well.
Jaime needs signatures for all of this crap that I guess piled up because of government furloughs or something. Steven silently cracks his knuckles in preparation. Just as he begins, Garnet rises from the sea like the Godzilla. Jaime’s blood obviously leaves his brain for a trip somewhere else in his body.
Garnet was looking for Lapis and Jasper on the sea floor, which is nice because I think everyone likes Lapis, and Peridot doesn’t come off as much of a threat on her own. Regardless, Garnet turned up absolutely nothing. Jaime asks her how she was able to do that. Turns out she’s a really. Good. Swimmer. I like how Estelle threw a bit more emphasis than usual for the character into that line. Makes a lot more sense if you think of it as being from Jaime’s point of view.
I just realized that I have no idea where Steven gets his money, because he wound up with nine boxes of sea “pals” valued at $1.25 each. Does he get an allowance from Greg, or something? I don’t know, it’s not important. Jaime spilled his heart into a love letter to Garnet. Jaime quickly walks away after handing the letter off to Steven and Connie. We are lucky that there are no couches for him to jump on.
They deliver the letter to a mildly interested Garnet. She asks Steven to read the letter to her. It cuts away to Jaime dramatically writing the letter, and it’s pretty damn funny. I now think Jaime’s last name is Firehazard. Long story short, Jaime asks Garnet out on a date.
It ain’t happening. As was revealed in Season 1’s two part finale, Garnet is a semi-permanent gem fusion. She’s literally the embodiment of Ruby and Sapphire’s relationship. Failure is Jaime’s only option, ’cause this ain’t gonna be a tricycle. You know, because Jaime would be a third whe- you know what, never mind.
Connie insists that a response must be written, as it would be rude not to. Garnet dictates the word “No”. Steven and Connie rush off to deliver this letter. They don’t do it, though, because the realization that it would destroy Jaime sinks in. They decide that they can make it better, in an attempt to let him down easily. You know what will happen.
Jaime got the wrong impression, because flowery speech is usually terrible at really conveying rejection. He’s standing out in the rain, at night, waiting to see Garnet. It’s one of the saddest balcony scenes possible, and then Garnet shows up. Steven fesses up to what he and Connie did. Jaime runs away, crushed.
Turns out there’s a new Maillady delivering the next day. Apparently this time Jaime remembered to tell someone where Steven lives. Maillady comes bearing letters and the news that Jaime was totally destroyed by rejection. She hands Steven a book of Q-pons and leaves. Garnet shows up and punches a blue watery monster thing she carried in with her. Steven and Connie relay that they crushed Jaime; Garnet goes to talk to him.
This bit is probably one of the most real parts of the episode. Garnet’s bit about the nature of love is one of the most genuine things you’ll likely hear in an 11 minute cartoon. She manages to flip what would be another crushing blow into a complement of his acting skills.
This was an excellent episode. While purely character based, it still holds your attention. You actually feel bad for Jaime, and as per usual, Steven Universe doesn’t mind going to a real place. You probably know someone like Jaime, to some extent. You might even be that person yourself.
Final thoughts:
-
Q-pons
-
Jaime runs like a nerd.
-
Seagull crash. You know you love it!
-
Pearl and Amethyst don’t appear at all. Not weird, just worth noting.
-
Jaime’s not really all that good at mail delivery.
About Author
