For a while, the staff of Steven Universe have kept a character blog called Keep Beach City Weird. It’s written from the perspective of Ronaldo Fryman, resident conspiracy nut and elder son of the man that sells Steven fry bits. He also wound up getting his ass kicked by the Gems due to the fact that social skills aren’t his forte.
The entire episode is shot as a documentary/exposé on the weird things that happened during the first season’s finale. Complete with amateur graphics, poorly edited shots, and pretentious voice-over by Ronaldo. It’s hilarious. I love the times where a clip ends halfway through a sentence. And like any good conspiracy, he just happens to barely miss catching anything weird on film.
He goes around town interviewing residents about their experiences that night. I think the best of these is the interview with Mayor Dewey. Ronaldo asks him who he thinks saved Beach City from the giant hand, and he credits the voters. Ronaldo clarifies that he’s talking about the Crystal Gems, and Dewey is puzzled. Ronaldo begins to tell him that he’s covering the story, but the Mayor mishears him, believing he said “Cover-up”. He sicks security on him, throwing him out of the office.
Like any good conspiracy theorist, he uses this to link the Gems to the government. He decides to go straight to the source: Steven. His establishing shot is so far away the camera microphone can’t pick up what he’s saying. Steven invites him in for lemonade. Steven, naturally, tells him everything. Specifically that the hand was there for the Crystal Gems, not for the cryogenically frozen pets of the 1%.
This causes a shift in the documentary. He dedicates himself to raising the people of Beach City against them. It doesn’t work. So he goes straight to the Gems to force them to leave Beach City. Unfortunately, they’re actually busy when he does so.
He tells them to leave after they finish the crab off, since their presence endangers Beach City. Garnet agrees immediately. Ronaldo goes on to revel in his victory… until Peedee reminds him that he’s established that the Gems are the cause of everything that’s weird in Beach City. Without them and the weirdness they bring to the city, his life is meaningless. He goes to the temple to beg them to stay. Garnet answers the door, and accepts his plea to stay, and he ends the documentary.
It’s revealed that Steven and the Gems were actually watching the documentary on YouTube. And they’re the only ones that have watched it. Steven, ever courteous, gives it a pity like.
This was a funny one. Ronaldo sometimes comes off as a jerk, and it isn’t hard to see why. But I felt the episode did a good job of at least making him entertaining if nothing else.
Final Thoughts:
- ACTUAL FOOTAGE
- You just keep expecting him to say “Wake up, sheeple!”
- That Potato-in-a-bikini calendar.
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