Onion is weird. It’s a fact. He has no ears, his speech is unintelligible, and he does shit just because he can. He also hates food. And if he had power, all society would devolve into chaos.
So Steven is making a sandwich. Amethyst walks out of the temple, clearly still upset about the whole thing going on between Garnet and Pearl. Steven offers an empty cream cheese container to her, but she implies that she couldn’t muster the energy to eat it. Steven decides that his sandwich is missing a side, and opens the cupboard to find Onion, holding the bag of chips he wanted. Onion makes a dash for it, but Steven blocks the door. Onion then does what any good action hero would do.
He chases Onion all the way to a house. He knows Onion isn’t even going to eat those chips. Shit, he watched the guy get an entire meal for free and then throw it away. Onion ducks under some tarps covering the doorway to a garage and Steven follows him to find a room full of paintings.
Weirded out, Steven leaves to go get Amethyst. He tells her that he thinks Onion is obsessed with her. After asking what she thinks, they hear someone call out to dentify themselves. And in walks Vidalia.
It turns out that she and Amethyst know each other from back in the day. Amethyst was Vidalia’s favorite model because she could turn into anything, hence the many paintings. They both knew Greg, but they were cooler than he was, so they hung out a lot. She hands Steven a photograph and asks him if they looked like mischief personified. Amethyst points out that she’s wearing slippers, and Vidalia tells her that she doesn’t know what she’s done while wearing them.
Onion walks in, and Steven finally comes to the realization that Onion is her son. She takes the scissors out of his hands (seriously Onion?) and invites them to dinner. Steven is hesitant (let’s be honest; because Onion is a deeply unsettling child.), but Amethyst immediately accepts. At dinner, it’s pretty much confirmed that Marty is Sour Cream’s father, but Vidalia doesn’t much care what happened to him, probably because he’s sort of an asshole. Also, Vidalia is married to Yellowtail.
Apparently Sour Cream’s DJing uses up all of the electricity in the house. Onion takes Steven to his room. A mouse scurries onto Steven’s foot, and he asks if its Onion’s pet. Onion wants Steven to drop the mouse into a terrarium, which Steven notes is awful big for a mouse. That’s because it houses a snake, and Onion wants Steven to feed it the mouse. Steven tries, but just can’t bring himself to do it, and hands the mouse to Onion. You can hear the actions as Steven looks away. Then Onion decides to put on a movie, which Steven thinks will in no way be creepy. Which is set in a hospital. With Vidalia screaming she’s ready. And Yellowtail. And Doctors.
Onion offers to take him through a vent hidden behind a poster in his room, but Steven can’t take any more. As he’s walking down the stairs to get Amethyst, he overhears her talking to Vidalia. The mess between Garnet and Pearl affects her more than Steven knew, and meeting back up with an old friend helps. So Steven decides to take one for the team, and follows Onion into the ventilation shaft.
They wind up in a small room with a poster of Onion and a small chest. The chest, as it turns out, is full of G.U.Y.S., and their counterpart line G.A.L.S. At first, Steven asks how he got so many, then remembers that he doesn’t want to know. Probably broke the shit out of a few Gacha machines. Onion gives him an Explorer G.A.L., probably in return for literally stealing Steven’s Ranger G.U.Y.
They all say their goodbyes. Amethyst and Vidalia give each other open invitations to stop by. Steven breaks out into a cold sweat, because Onion is still unnerving. He also opens his mouth to reveal that the mouse has been in there the entire time.
Final Thoughts:
- Amethyst does the impossible and eats the inedible. Plastic containers and bags of tea.
- What child doesn’t want a VHS tape of themselves being born?
- It’s psychological trauma week.
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