Attempting to fill a niche, it’s Stealth Interactive Core Trainer! Stealth makes Planking fun!* Stealth tricks your already perfectly toned body into believing it’s having fun with phone games you’d normally never play.

Games which are on the level of that portable snake game you’d get if you sold 250 bars of chocolate in school. It’s a plastic board with an indentation for your smartphone.

You will never use Stealth. Just like you never won that motor scooter that required you to sell a preposterous amount of middle-grade chocolate. It will be consigned to the cardboard box you store your ab roller and off-brand DDR mat in.

You will then go to McDonald’s like the fatty you are and cry into your quarter pounder over the fact women will never love you. Enjoy your balancing eagle toy, you sad person you.

*Nothing in the history of ever has or ever will make Planking fun. Planking wasn’t fun to begin with.

~I swear to God I was chuckling as I wrote all of this.~

// Promoted Stories

About Author

B. Simmons

Based out of Glendale California, Bryan is a GAMbIT’s resident gaming contributor. Specializing in PC and portable gaming, you can find Bryan on his 3DS playing Monster Hunter or at one of the various conventions throughout the state.

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