Who doesn’t love a good old earful of it?
Ahhh, jizz. It’s an important part of the Star Wars Universe (in more ways than one). From what I understand, Han Solo loved jizz. Couldn’t get enough of it. Nothing could liven up one of those smuggling runs like a good blast of jizz at lightspeed.
So, now that I’ve had my fun, jizz is the name of a type of music in the Star Wars universe. Specifically, it’s the genre played by the Mos Eisley Cantina band and the Max Rebo Band (he is not an elephant and he’s got a gig tonight):
Or at least, it used to be. In Disney’s ongoing attempts to ensure nobody ever likes Star Wars again, they’re once again sanding off one of the many things which gave the universe color. Jizz is now Jatz. Gone forever are the jizz-wailers of Tatooine’s cantinas, just like how they renamed Boba Fett’s iconic ship Slave I to something so generic I can’t even remember it. At least they left his Vette alone. I think.
This all comes from a new book of short stories titled From A Certain Point of View: Return of the Jedi. At one point, the type of music Max Rebo plays is brought up and refers to a song not being like “one of any number of jatz standards he knew by heart.”
Now to be as fair as I’m going to be in this case, Jatz is also a Star Wars thing, initially appearing in the Star Wars Adventure Journal vol 3 in 1994. They just seem to be shifting everything from one term to the one that doesn’t make everything sound like a constant porno. Jatz also features in the recently released novel Inquisitor: Rise Of The Red Blade that neither you nor I are going to read.
While it’s sad to see jizz go the way of the mythosaur, it’ll be alright. And by alright, I mean mostly lame until Kathleen Kennedy retires, at which point it’s a crapshoot. But there are plenty of “entertaining” names left in the IP; after all, you know it’s a Star Wars name when spell check has an aneurysm when you type it out. We still have:
- Savage Oppress
- Sy Snoodles
- Ponda Baba (a.k.a. Buttface)
- Sio Bibble
- Elan Sleazebaggano
- Depa Billaba
- Kit Fisto
- Nute Gunray
- Tiaan Jerjerrod
- Plo Koon
- Crix Madine
- …and many more.
Oh, and in case you were wondering, spell check thinks almost all of these other than Savage Oppress (since it’s two normal words) has some form of misspelling.
Source: Looper
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