Fuck it, she’s her own grandpa at this point.
Well, we already got “Palpatine’s a clone” out of the novelization for Star Wars: Episode IX. We may as well go for the bonus point multiplier on stupid, right? Well, that’s what we’re getting. In retrospect, Rey’s parents being nobodies was actually better than this.
Apparently, the novelization reveals that her father is a failed clone of my bro, Sheev. At the end of Return of the Jedi, Sheev sent his spirit out into a clone body, but the transfer was imperfect because the Death Star II wifi was kind shitty. So his Sith clone doctors went about trying to make a body that could hold Palpy’s consciousness, but they kept failing. In one case, they wound up with a host that was “useless” and “powerless” and “a not-quite-identical clone”. But it wasn’t shitty enough to flush, so they apparently just let it out and it lived a normal life as a bounty hunter that plowed Rey’s mom, who isn’t seemingly important enough to get a backstory of a similar level of shit.
Christ, it reads like some 8-year old’s shitty Dragon Ball Z fanfiction about Broly.
Also, fun fact, that doesn’t make Rey Sheev’s granddaughter, as revealed in the film. That makes her his daughter, because I’m pretty sure that’s how clone-produced babies work. Their DLC breaks the originally broken story; that’s impressive. Bad, but impressive.
Source: Yahoo Entertainment
About Author
