Here’s my problem with drug trips in TV or film: none of it is actually happening. It’s my same complaint about dream sequences and hallucinations. Since none of it is real, per se, it has to offer some insight into the character. “Happy Birthday to Me,” Scream‘s version of a bottle episode, fails to do this. What it gives us instead is a largely unlikable cast acting annoying. That’s…that’s barely an exaggeration of the plot.
So the titular birthday boy is Keiran, and despite making low-key plans with Emma, Eli convinces her to throw him a big party. (Gotta hand it to Scream for the obscure reference: Happy Birthday to Me is an obscure slasher flick form 1981.) Well, since the bedrock of any strong relationship is ignoring your partner’s wishes, Emma does so, which leads to more of the painful flirting between her and Eli. Not only is Eli kind of a nothing character, with his bargain basement Dave Franco looks and delivery, but the only relationship I care about less than Emma and Keiran is Emma and Eli.
And thus Scream endeavors to get all of its characters in one place, even the ones who have no earthly business at Keiran’s party, like Stavo. Scream attempts to hand-wave this, but it sticks out to an annoying degree. “I thought he creeped you out,” it’s pointed out to Brooke. She responds: “Yeah, but maybe he’s harmless.” Brooke, several of your friends are fucking dead because of a podcaster, which is pretty much the definition of “harmless.” When did you get so trusting? Scream is trying to force Brooke/Stavo and Emma/Eli down our throat, and it is not working.
What is kind of working, though, is Noah and Zoe. It helps that John Karna is the only male in the cast who looks like he might actually be a high school student (Keiran is extremely in his mid-20s), but he has a better delivery than most on this show. He does a good job with lines like “Funny seeing you here…in school.” Or maybe I just see a lot of 17-year-old Trevor in Noah.
Anyway, the party happens, and professor Keiran isn’t tipped off by seeing all of his friends’ cars outside or by the loud-ass music they’re bumping before he even arrives. Guys, it’s really hard to yell “Surprise!” over Tyga, trust me. There’s a surprise when “Jake” sends a bottle of expensive tequila, which turns out to be ayahuasca, and everyone gets fucked up in due course. The other problem with drug trip scenes is that, most of the time, you watch them while sober, and therefore they are intolerable.
Brooke has a bad trip, which Eli helps her through. Eli gets giggly and starts making smiley faces with ketchup. Emma books it into the forest, where she runs into the killer, which is actually not a hallucination. Then, mercifully, the party ends.
The next day at school – wait, what the fuck, they had this party on a weeknight? Guys, think about college! It’s just everybody reiterating what a crazy night it was, except for Zoe, who turns down Noah because he made out with Audrey at the party (she made out with both of them, so you think she’d understand they were all fucked up, but I guess Scream wants to reinforce some gender stereotypes). Look, guys, Zoe is absolutely the killer, so this might put Noah in her crosshairs, which is the only reason it works.
At least “Happy Birthday to Me” ends strongly. But first, let’s address the weird fact that the school apparently holds a mandatory assembly to announce the contestants in the Lakewood beauty pageant, which at least is creatively called “Lady of the Lake.” Narrative contrivance or no, it makes for a good ending, as Brooke is drenched in blood on stage, in a nod to Carrie, and Jake’s body falls down from the rafters, in a nod to Scream occasionally knowing what the fuck it’s doing.
A Few Thoughts
- Killer Prediction, Week 4: Zoe.
- Sheriff Acosta is another character who actually seems well-formed. I liked him shutting down Quentin Maddox. Also, everything about Quentin Maddox is hilarious. He looks like a retired ’70s porn star, who legally changed his name to his stage name, and still wears chains and pinky rings.
- Way to go, Audrey, not wiping your prints off of that corkscrew. Way to go, Scream, for sabotaging one of your smartest characters.
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