Samir and I double down on NBC’s miniseries version of Rosemary’s Baby.
Margaux: Not all reboots/updates/remakes are created equal or with any sort of consideration for its source material. It’s generally interesting to see what someone’s interpretation will end up being, a la FX’s Fargo. But NBC’s miniseries “event” Rosemary’s Baby seems to be fighting to be deeper than it is or needs to be. Scenes stretch on forever with exposition-y dialogue, the original movie totaled the same run-time as the “Part One” premiere. So, like, why NBC?
The prologue was interesting at times, setting up Rosemary’s first miscarriage in New York, the lingering shot of “Steven Marcato” in the waiting room is the sort of crap that undoes what could be good. Just like the Amazing Spider Man, I don’t get what about this update is necessary.
Samir: I have to wonder what, in our modern world of Teen Mom and I Didn’t Know I Was Pregnant, something like an update of Rosemary’s Baby could affect? Is this a fusion of bastardizing classic films and Scared Straight for the youth of today? Why else would they reboot it to make the couple younger, not to mention the witches? It feels strange to have a film that appeals to an older audience remade for a younger one, especially one about a most particular pregnancy. Is it a sign of the times that they do not even have to try to make pregnancy relatable to a young audience nowadays? Do they think the audience who loved the original wanted a 21st century update? Obviously horror fanatics will find great interest, but who is the intended audience for all of this? Clearly the trend of films and television series cannibalizing each other for “new” material is at play here.
Margaux: These are the moments where I think to myself, what the fuck was the pitch that got this green lit? “So they’re younger and in..umm, uh-Paris! Hail Satan n’shit.” I mean come on, at least Gus van Sant’s “remake” of Psycho told you it’d be shot-for-shot, I wish this was.
Some of the shock and gore they’ve added is actually really good, but the goddamn wait to get there is…tedious. Feels like they’re killing time.
Samir: And the rearranging of the OG elements of the story. Guy is still a creative type, a writer instead of an actor, Rosemary is black, so we have a biracial couple instead of an all-white couple. Race is pretty much considered a non-issue, which is both refreshing and ignorant at the same time.
Margaux: I hope Rosemary’s former career as a ballet dancer is a direct reference to Saldana being in Center Stage.
Samir: Stubbing out a cigarette with her toe-point. Yet now she’s in culinary school, because a housewife she cannot be, at least they’re conscious of that, but think they must have been then too. And what are the odds of some young whippersnapper American getting a job teaching at the Sorbonne? They make it seem like a tourist destination rather than a discerning academic institution. The witches being younger and more attractive makes me angry though. Part of the creepiness of the original was that it provided a sordid picture of the lives behind closed doors of all those adorable old people we condescend to so regularly. And a shot of them without clothing as well. No fussy old New Yorker Ruth Gordon, but a sensuous middle-aged French woman is now the witchy temptress Mrs Castevet. Named Margaux 😉
Margaux: Is it even spelled that way though? Ha. (Ugh, it is.)
I completely agree, hate that the satanists are eccentric Frenchies and not foreboding and overbearing old people you’d never suspect. Who gives kittens to strangers as a first gift? And Rosemary and Guy just laugh it off like, French people! Imma right. No, you’re wrong.
Margot is channeling Gordon’s Minnie from the original though, with way more sexual (and super uncomfortable) tension. She overwhelms Rosemary at every turn; first the cat, then giving them the apartment after their faculty housing bursts in flames. Emile, the contractor with no tongue is finally what tips Rosemary off that something is amiss in the kindness. I wanna call her racist but that’s wrong. Uh, shallow?
Samir: People always have to be stupid to move horror plots along when the creators don’t want to put in the time it takes to come up with a good idea. The film is clearly made for an audience that has seen the original, because they keep dropping hints that bank on our pre-existing knowledge of the story. But Margot does have a lesbionic flirtation going throughout that seems of a piece with the antiquated equation of homosexuality with villainy, especially supernatural, devilish villainy. Vampires, witches, etc, it’s very old-school.
Plot-wise, we are aware of the deception involved, so the film plays with that to develop suspense, and can’t stop showing us “significant” details.
Margaux: Can we talk about the party scene? Presuming that’s the moment when we (and Rosemary and Guy) are introduced to the cult of witches. The first person Margot makes Rosemary meet is Commissioner Fontaine, who Rosemary goes to see later when she finds a picture of the couple that lived in the apartment before them. Oh yeah, and the cause of her immediate suicide dreams. One is lead to believe that Commissioner would have the cults best wishes at heart but as Part One wears on, it seems like he’s actually on Rosemary’s side. He does keep spouting ominous-ass parting words to her every time they meet.
Samir: “Always trust your feelings Rosemary.”
Yes, that’s a bit confusing, because with how perfectly constructed the satanists’ plot it, it seems an egregious oversight to include an inquisitive Police Commissioner into their inner circle at the same time they want to engineer the rape and fertilization of a mortal woman with the Anti-Christ. Especially having spectacularly failed already, with noticeable consequences. Maybe he’s another figure for Rosemary to trust, in her ultimate foolishness, as she will do with her doctor? We haven’t met Dr Sapirstein yet after all.
Margaux: Yep, all this build up and she’s not even knocked up by episodes end. Actually the ending altogether felt rather abruptly. Ya know, if you’re not counting the rape scene you were watching before it randomly cut to commercial.
Samir: And the horror aspect wasn’t there either with the rape scene, it was almost glamorized, with the soft focus and lesbian kiss. The original scene was really unsettling and blasphemous in more ways than one. It was horrifying to witness her rape, and that it was by the devil while Rosemary imagine’s the Pope standing bedside, really packs a punch even today. I don’t think this remake/reboot/update could have done more than Polanski did, but they certainly could have made it less soft-core in tone than they did here.
Margaux: Well the original was never made with the intention of being on broadcast TV. So there’s that. But I do agree that it got real Skinamax in there, the literal image of the “beast with two backs” was so fucking on the nose, if didn’t hadn’t cut to a commercial, I would have. I just thought that if you couldn’t top the original, do something else. I mean, they’d taken SEVERAL liberties already. I hate that they try to make Guy likeable somehow, that’s what I loved so much Cassavetes Woodhouse, he’s a cold bastard and he don’t give no fucks. This Guy is such a puss, who’s having feelings and second thoughts. You’re doing it. Get over it.
Samir: Yeah, the actor Guy is competitive with who is stricken blind, here is a fussy old female english professor who stabs her boss and then herself in the neck? At least the remake surprised us on occasion, I’ll give it that. Yet they have done little to establish the cutthroat environment of academia to warrant his desperation that justifies selling his wife’s womb and vagina to the devil and his cult of fabulous French followers. Guy was an actor in NYC in Polanski’s film, which one instantly gets a sense of from Cassavetes. This guy just falls into the elegantly laid plans without having to express any desire for success. Too much a withering idiot to be believable as someone teaching at the Sorbonne until he can pump out that great American novel. While other American’s went to Paris for inspiration to create great art, this Guy was inspired to give his first born son to Satan?
Margaux: What about his SINGLE TEAR as he’s about to hand over his wife to Satan or whatever to be impregnated? Hated. It. Nothing about this Guy is believable whatsoever.
Samir: Yeah, he feels regret, but not enough to stop it. What a hero. At least the original Guy was questionably concerned- is it for the baby and its guarantee of success, or for his wife? Who knows what this guy wants.
Margaux: Alright, let’s really judge this bitch with star rating. What say you?
Samir: 2 stars, for the good murder scenes and occasionally interesting cinematography. Director Agnieszka Holland is a great director, but perhaps there is only so much you can do with shoddy material.
Margaux: I’ll agree with you because I honestly can’t come up with a half star reason to bump it up. This was as painful as what I imagine childbirth to be.
Samir: But being a devoted fan of camp and horror, I have to see what they try to do with the rest of it. Maybe things will take a more interesting turn.
Margaux: Unless “Part Two” is written by an entirely different team of writers, I wouldn’t hold my breath.
Samir: Keeping my fingers crossed that they go all out in showing us the Satan baby.
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