The 34th Annual Golden Raspberry Awards – or as we know them, the Razzies – were held last night, as per tradition. Here’s a list of the people and films receiving the dubious honor. But first, I think it’s a step in the right direction that they didn’t just throw everything at Adam Sandler like they do most years. Sandler is low-hanging fruit at this point; we all know he sucks, and having watched Punch-Drunk Love again last night, that’s a bitter pill to swallow.
Worst Screenplay
Movie 43, written by 19 “screenwriters”
Fun fact: I worked as a PA on this movie.
Worst Remake, Rip-Off, or Sequel
The Lone Ranger
I read an article describing Johnny Depp’s Tonto as an “1860s Juggalo” and now it’s all I can see.
Worst Director
The 13 people who directed Movie 43
Can we just make this the death knell of the Farrelly Bros’ career? None of their movies have aged well and they haven’t been funny in years. Shallow Hal might be the worst “comedy” I’ve ever seen.
Worst Screen Ensemble
Will Smith and Jaden Smith, After Earth
Hahahaha fuck you, Jaden Smith.
Worst Supporting Actress
Kim Kardashian, Tyler Perry’s Temptation: Confessions of a Marriage Counselor
Okay, sometimes low-hanging fruit is too hard to resist.
Worst Supporting Actor
Will Smith, After Earth
I’m really liking this new trend of “fuck nepotism.”
Worst Actress
Tyler Perry (in drag), A Madea Christmas
I think Spike Lee is a racist douche, but sometimes the man is correct.
Worst Actor
Jaden Smith, After Earth
I know this kid is, like, twelve, but he seriously needs to fuck off.
Worst Picture
Movie 43
You know, Movie 43, it’s a hell of a testament to the shitty impression you made that you were released fourteen months ago and people still remember that they hate you.
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