Ya’ll need Jesus.
Oh, it all started so innocently, as it always does. During that jam-packed Nintendo Direct earlier in the month, they showed off a trailer for New Super Mario Bros. U Deluxe. And that trailer showed a power up that turned Toadette into a very Toadette-ish Princess Peach, or Peachette, if you will; the Super Crown.
Naturally, this led to the usual deep lore/speculation cycle. I blame MatPat.
But such a state is tenuous. Dry brush like that is not something that can be allowed to remain. For a single spark can set alight a tremendous fire, one that firefighters will have a hard time with because Ajit Pai is an ass. And that single spark happened thanks to @ayyk92 on Twitter.
And the floodgates were opened. Bowsette was born. Every conceivable artist you could think of seized upon the idea. So what if it’s a mixed metaphor, I do what I want!
Twitter right now pic.twitter.com/TXLbgc8KUt
— Sun.mp2 (Commissions) (@sun_mp2) September 23, 2018
…and many more. Some of which really straddle the line on what I’m probably allowed to actually post. Or not; maybe I’m just exercising discretion. Then again, Steam pretty much allows porn now, so whatever.
And for his part, @ayyk92 knows how this all went so wrong.
This is our hell, and these are our demons. Honestly, we could do worse.
Goddamnit.