Even they are telling you to take a shower. SOAP. WATER. NOT HARD. YOU STINK.
Your disgusting, smelly ass probably hasn’t quite taken the hint, but various product manufacturers have spent a while trying to get your average con-going gamer to take a damn shower. Lord knows how many such products have been aimed at that demographic. But none of them had the branding of one of the big 3, and now that’s changed. Because Microsoft has teamed up with the makers of Axe products to make a line of Xbox hygiene products in the desperate hope that you stop smelling like an ungodly amalgamation of Mountain (resi)Dew, stale Doritos, unwashed ass and BO.
Granted, the line will be Australia exclusive when it launches in July, and will be under Axe’s parent company’s (Unilever) Lynx line. Microsoft sees the regular personal hygiene routine as “powering up” for their line’s prospective patrons.
We see Xbox fans achieve incredible things every day, and we wanted to celebrate that elevated skill, passion and determination by creating something truly special. Now, powering up can be as simple as a quick spray before you head out the door.
Tania Chee, business group lead for Xbox Australia / New Zealand
But what do Xbox products smell like (at least hypothetically, we all know the answer is “plastic and a dash of ozone”)? Well, I’m glad you asked, because they’ve got that one covered.
Lynx Xbox is a fresh scent of pulsing green citrus, featuring top notes of kaffir lime and winter lemon, aromatic herbal middle notes of mint and sage, and woody bottom notes of patchouli and clearwood. Containing a range of natural essential oils, the Xbox Lynx range comes with a sleek new look and features a body spray, deodorant, and shower gel.
I personally don’t give a shit what it smells like, though, because it’s an automatic improvement over how some of you smell. If I’m indoors, and I have to ask myself what smells like rotten cottage cheese in that room, and I realize that since I bathed that morning it’s most certainly not me, you have failed the basic social contract inherent in venturing to public, enclosed spaces.
Source: The Verge
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