Alternate headline: “Fuck it, I’m just gonna write about remakes from now on.”
Variety is reporting that Hasbro is bringing Jem and the Holograms to theaters, under the direction of John Chu (G.I. Joe: Retaliation, Step Up). And since this is 2014, they want to crowd-source the thing. Head to their website to make suggestions or something? I don’t even know why I’m writing this. We’re watching film die in front of us, just so you know. We still have our Coen brothers, and our P.T. Anderson, and artists like them, but their work is always going to get overshadowed by crap like this.
Project will reimagine Jem for a hyperlinked social media age, the producers say, and revolve around an orphaned teenage girl who becomes an online recording sensation, she and her sisters embark on a music-driven scavenger hunt –- one that sends them on an adventure across Los Angeles in an attempt to unlock a final message left by her father.
Anyone want to guess how Katy Perry will be involved? It seems inevitable.
I just remembered that the Holograms’ rival band was called the Misfits. I will totally change my mind about this film if they get Glenn Danzig.
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