When the idea for Gotham was announced, I and many others thought, “Finally, finally I can watch a young Commissioner Gordon have fondue with the Riddler.” Oh wait, I didn’t think that and never would, because I’m not a fucking lunatic. One of Gotham‘s many, many, many problems is that it has no idea what kind of show it is, could be, or even wants to be. Most of the time it’s firmly in the land of high camp, which is okay-ish when you have Jada Pinkett Smith vamping it up, but with her gone, the self-awareness of the cast has plummeted to zero percent (and even with her around, it was still at, like, three percent). The execrable “Scarification,” easily the worst episode of a pretty shitty second season, is all over the place, asking way more questions than it answers.
This show wouldn’t be half as campy as it is if it didn’t take itself so goddamn seriously. It’s exhausting, and quite frankly embarrassing, to watch Gotham strut onto the air every Monday night, like the badass kid from another school with a mysterious past, only to fall off his motorcycle when he tries to wheelie, and cough up a lung when he tries to smoke an American Spirit.
Let’s talk about the actual plot of “Scarification,” which aims to introduce C-list bad guy Firefly, because DC has a very shallow bench of villains, which is why Anarky was on Arrow last week. Seriously, now that Gotham has plowed through clumsy introductions of Catwoman, Two Face, Scarecrow, Poison Ivy, Penguin, and the Joker, it’s left with Firefly, alias Bridgit Pike, who was not one of the two canonical incarnations of Firefly. But the show did gender-swap the role, which I appreciate. Oh wait, that sounded almost like a compliment; let’s get back to shitting all over everything.
The Pikes are Gotham’s “best” arsonists, which is something you get a reputation but not an arrest warrant for in Gotham. Theo tells Penguin, who tells Butch, who tells Selina (“Ugh, why?” – me, out loud, to myself, when she popped up on screen) to hire the Pikes to set a bunch of fires. Bridgit ends up doing the dirty work because of this episode’s one good scene. The youngest Pike brother goes to The Merc to buy napalm, even when told that they already have enough napalm (note to Gotham: being aware of your plot contrivances doesn’t make them forgivable). The Merc isn’t a man, it’s an actual supermarket for criminals, with shopping carts and Muzak and everything. Get it? It’s the Merc, like short for “mercantile,” but also “mercenary,” but also what twelve year olds call killing on Call of Duty? Ah, you get it.
Anyway, the kid tries to steal the napalm (while singing “Robbery!” to himself), but he does so on the exact day that Jim and his Strike Force are raiding the place. Why did it take so long to raid this place? I mean, The Merc has employees and everything – people in uniform. They probably offer benefits. Okay, so the kid runs, and Jim and Barnes end up shooting him, igniting the napalm in his pants and blowing him up. It’s like something out of Punisher: War Zone, the main difference being that War Zone might be the most self-aware movie ever made and is a peerless masterpiece.
That one scene aside, “Scarification” is a complete mess. Selina is really invested in Bridgit’s future, which makes sense because of their long history together, much of which we’ve seen. It actually makes no sense, and it puts Selina Kyle on my TV, which is never a good thing.
This episode is a good example of everything wrong with Gotham. It’s just so ridiculously over the top that it’s impossible to take anything seriously. In “Scarification” alone, two hands are cut off, an eyeball removed, and a cop killed by immolation. The constant barrage of violence has now completely inured the audience to anything that’s actually happening, and the effect is that Bruno Heller has made very expensive white noise.
A Few Thoughts
- “She’s cool but she sleeps a lot” is the weirdest way to describe anyone, ever
- “No one gets pants.” God help me, Michael Chiklis’s delivery saved this line
- For all this show’s faults, at least Ben McKenzie looks good in a suit
- Love how Barnes tells Jim to find the connection between the five arsons. Um, Jim is not an arson investigator; does Gotham not have a fire department?
- Speaking of people doing jobs that aren’t theirs: Lee tells Jim she could psychoanalyze him all day. The fuck? You’re a medical examiner? Since when are those professions linked? Can you moonlight as one? Either psychoanalysts or medical examiners should be offended by Gotham‘s implication, and I’m only saying that because I would be tickled fucking pink if a random group of medical professionals called for a boycott of this show
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