Oh man guys, Gotham did not hesitate to get silly as hell. I really hope this is the tone of this entire series, because this is bar-none my favorite show to hate-watch (as of now, Fear the Walking Dead and The Bastard Executioner are too uneven for me to truly hate). This is a show that will score its catching-up montage to Lou Reed’s “Perfect Day,” and do so unironically. Does Gotham know what “Perfect Day” is about? It’s about heroin, like every Lou Reed song! Oh Gotham, never change. But also, please change significantly. I’ll be honest: this show shit the bed so hard last season (with the exception the genuinely great episode “Red Hood”) that I approached the season two premiere with knives drawn. I gladly would have put them away, though, but Gotham insisted I use them.
Gotham has subtitled its entire second season “Rise of the Villains,” because if this show needed anything it was more villains. Unfortunately, the first one we get acquainted with is Zaardon, a zaftig fellow who attacks Jim – now directing traffic – with swords before being thrown into Arkham.
Guys, I have so many questions about Arkham, and believe it or not, none of them involve the convict stripes, which I thought was actually a nice touch, and of a piece with Gotham‘s old-school aesthetic. But is this mental hospital co-ed? Wouldn’t that just be rape city, like, right away? And why do the male prisoners wear pants and a shirt and the females wear striped dresses? It’s unlikely that we’ll get any answers though, because Gotham is inclined to zip right past this and free some convicts, with the help of Zaardon, who is actually some sort of nerve-gas delivery system (don’t ask). Anyway, six inmates – including Barbara, Jerome (our ersatz Joker), and a Dan Fogler-looking guy – have been freed by Theo Galavan (James Frain, who just played the bad guy on True Detective) for purposes that I’m sure are nefarious.
Look, I’m glad season two had the good sense to hit the ground running – a lot happens in “Damned” – but that does little and less to solve the show’s myriad problems. Gotham had time to rework itself over the summer, and by putting Gordon back in a uniform, Penguin in charge, and several prominent criminals behind bars, it could have started with a clean slate. That would have been the smart thing to do. But this is not a smart show.
To me, the problems boil down to creator (and “Damned” screenwriter) Bruno Heller. Danny Cannon, who directed this episode, tries his best to salvage what he can (Cannon has a good eye for violence), but he’s severely hamstrung by Heller’s script. Guys, I think Heller might be a time traveler, because that’s the only excuse I can think of for people in 2015 saying words like “telephone” and “Beelzebub.” Here are some more examples of Gotham‘s dialogue:
“I’m a cop, Lee. I’m a cop.”
“You don’t want to do that cause he’s a bad man.”
And so on. Heller’s script actively works against the show. There’s a scene where Penguin and Victor Zsasz break into Commissioner Loeb’s home. Loeb calls for his guard. Zsasz lifts up the guard’s severed head. It’s a good, creepy shot, the kind that intuitively leads to a commercial break, but nope, Zsasz has to start manipulating the head’s lips and have it say “Hey boss, how bout a bottle of beer?” Fucking what? Heller is the kind of screenwriter who will have Harvey Bullock, now a bartender, tell Jim to “slow down,” while pouring him another drink. Heller is too close to this to be any good for it. He needs to recuse himself, the way George Lucas did from Star Wars. Heller should absolutely stay on board as a producer, but keep in mind that this is the kind of guy who will sit down to make up a villain, and come up with the name “Fish Mooney.” Do you really want him writing your show?
A Few Thoughts
- That was a lot of bitching, but David Mazouz and Sean Pertwee remain the best part of this show. They have natural, believable chemistry. That high five was adorable
- Oh great, Selina Kyle is working for Penguin now. Thankfully Gotham had the decency to put most of its worst characters in one room
- Edward Nygma’s reflection talks to him, and seems smoother and more put-together. So Gotham officially has its own Stefan Urkel
- Essen went straight from Captain to Commissioner? I mean, good for her, but aren’t there, like, a dozen ranks between those two?
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