Today in “Are You Fucking Kidding Me?” – The AV Club is reporting that CBS has signed a deal to produce another series based on a story by Stephen King. CBS has turned its attention to “The Things They Left Behind,” from King’s 2008 short story collection Just After Sunset (but originally published in 2006’s Transgressions Volume Two). Notice how I’m using the words “short” and “story” and not “novel”? That’s because The Things They Left Behind is about twenty pages long, so naturally it makes sense for CBS to make a whole goddamn series out of it. I guess a TV movie is out of the question.
Still, maybe there’s a silver lining here. Let’s see…
Dark Shadows and Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter’s Seth Grahame-Smith has been brought on to write the series, with Arrow’s Greg Berlanti producing for Warner Bros. TV.
GOD. DAMNIT.
I don’t know if I’ve properly explained my feelings properly in regards to Seth Grahame-Smith, but fuck this guy. Dark Shadows might be the absolute nadir of Tim Burton’s career, Abraham Lincoln is fan fiction for morons, and this guy also wrote Pride and Prejudice and Zombies, singlehandedly giving birth to a brief literary movement wherein monsters were injected into classic novels for no reason, which is why we now have books like Sense and Sensibility and Sea Monsters and Franny and Zooey and Cthulhu (only one of those is fake, but they’re both jokes).
Berlanti has done surprisingly great work on Arrow, which is the only reason I can get excited about this. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve spent almost 300 words bitching about this, but I’m gonna watch every second.
About Author
