Good lord. I’ve posted too many stupid stories today, but this might be the stupidest. Accoring to Variety, Bret Easton Ellis and Rob Zombie have teamed up with Fox and Alcon Television to develop a limited about Charles Manson, his “Family,” and the gruesome Tate-Labianca murders of 1969. Ellis is writing, and Zombie will handle directing duties.

Here are a few reasons why this is a terrible idea:

1. Charles Manson, while fascinating, is a fucking monster who shouldn’t be talked about at all. Making a series about him is just going to fuel his ego and further convince him of his self-granted status as a mythic, misunderstood deity of some kind.

2. Bret Easton Ellis was once a great writer – his first novel Less Than Zero reads like a cynical, nihilistic version of Catcher in the Rye. But then he wrote The Canyons, around the time that his head disappeared completely up his own asshole. I predict that Manson (as I’m sure this will be called) is going to be brimming with dialogue that isn’t half as clever as it thinks it is.

3. Rob Zombie is a terrible director. His remake of Halloween is one of the worst movies I’ve ever seen, and House of 1,000 Corpses and The Devil’s Rejects are only liked by high school morons who confuse gore for horror. Let me show you something:

Only Rob Zombie thinks that’s cool.

So get ready for the murder of a pregnant woman and her friends to be as tasteless and bloody as network TV will allow – and more importantly, get ready to see Sheri Moon Zombie in a role that she is in no way equipped to play.

About Author

T. Dawson

Trevor Dawson is the Executive Editor of GAMbIT Magazine. He is a musician, an award-winning short story author, and a big fan of scotch. His work has appeared in Statement, Levels Below, Robbed of Sleep vols. 3 and 4, Amygdala, Mosaic, and Mangrove. Trevor lives in Denver, CO.

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