It figures that the week this episode ran, CBS announced that they were shitcanning Battle Creek, along with a few other shows. This is despite Battle Creek pulling in respectable numbers for its slot, which is wrong for it anyway, since its lead in, The Good Wife, is far more dramatic in nature anyway. But maybe I’m just venting.
The episode begins with a man breaking out of prison. Since it’s a federal case, Milt is on the scene. He brought Russ along, however, and Russ just can’t figure out why he has been dragged out to a federal case. Apparently, the prisoner is an idiot. Why? Because he broke out five days before he was to be set free.
On their way back, they argue over the escapee’s intelligence. Milt stops at the side of the road after spying a broken fence. He argues that it may lead to a clue, since fences don’t just break like that. Russ tells him that it may have been an animal, which Milt rejects. Russ says, “I think wood breaks. I think nature has built in obsolescence.”
Milt hands Russ the keys to the car and asks him to get an evidence kit. Russ grudgingly goes to get it. Out of the back seat, the escapee grabs him and points a gun at him. He tells Russ to drive, and drive he does.
Turns out that the guy, named Mitchell Ford, isn’t an idiot. As a matter of fact, he has more than passing familiarity with not only the law, but standard FBI vehicle registration, as well as knowing when someone is actually home or not based entirely on when the lights are on in someone’s house. They hide out at said house for the night, and take the car left in the garage the next morning.
They stop to get gas, and because Ford isn’t an idiot, he pretty much manages to lock down every opportunity Russ could possibly take to get away, including threatening the family in the car parked parallel to them on the other side of the pumps. Ford then goes to talk to the father of that family, which gives Russ an opportunity to try to signal to one of the kids in the back seat to call for help. Unfortunately for him, the kid doesn’t know how to read lips, and is too stupid to realize that someone being handcuffed to the steering wheel of a car they’re driving is the sort of thing you tell an adult about. Ford knows that he tried, though, putting his hand on the gun at his back.
Milt really pulls out all the stops in trying to get Russ back. They get a hit on Russ’ cell phone, and go off to find him. Unfortunately, all they get is the family; Ford dropped the phone into their car while he had that friendly chat with them.
They eventually reach a house. There’s a short struggle, which Ford wins because he has a gun. Ford locks him to a pole in the basement.
I’m switching to highlights. Everything that happens in the basement is either hilarious or dramatic; there’ is no real in between. In one instance, he spies a saw, and tries to get a dog that hangs out in the basement to fetch it. Given a choice between saw and stick, however, it manages to take a third option.
In another, actually the second to last scene in the basement, Russ manages to get a hold of a roll of duct tape, ultimately using it to cobble together a means of getting the saw.
Russ also has a plan, which he let Guziewicz in on back when they were partners, to convince anyone holding him hostage to fill a prescription for insulin after lying to his captor about having type I Diabetes. Personally, I would lie about having a persistent heart condition so that the prescription could be filled with placebos so that I could actually take them, but that’s just me. The whole plan fails due to the fact that Ford used a cat’s-paw to get the prescription, and Ford replaces his prescription with veterinary grade insulin when he can’t get the real thing.
Overall, this was a damn good episode, which makes it such a shame that it just happened to run after CBS announces the show’s cancellation. It’s been apparent to anyone that watched Breaking Bad that Vince Gilligan knows how to balance Drama and comedy like a boss, and that amazing balancing act was on full display in this episode. It’s a shame that there are only three more episodes left in its run.
Final Thoughts:
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Duct tape fixes everything.
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All senior citizens must have Life Alert.
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Everyone gets misty-eyed at weddings.
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