Samir and I call kangaroo court on the social media voting of America’s Next Top Model’s latest episode “The Girl Who Says It’s Over”. And don’t forget to tune into our podcast, We Were Rooting For You!, for our extended thoughts on America’s Next Top Model here: https://www.gambitmag.com/podcast/rooting-antm-podcast-episode-3/
Margaux: Raelia knows we knew already did by the end of last weeks episode, she wasn’t going anywhere. Kari truly had taken herself out of the competition as soon as she was attacked by the Ty-Over.
Samir: To be fair, Tyra took Kari out period.
Nice to see Will and Denzel have a frank discussion about the drama from last week. Denzel admitting that he is a product of his environment and wants to change his way of thinking about gay men. That’s a positive step. I wonder how long the adult behavior will continue this episode…
Margaux: Yep, it was refreshing to see them officially bury the hatchet and have an adult conversation, not fueled entirely by booze. The important takeaway is Denzel seems committed to putting his money where his manly mouth is. Growth on Top Model and not just in photoshoots. Golf clap.
Samir: Anything that draws attention away from that beard.
Margaux: Ruh roh, “The Girl Who Says It’s Over” is a Mirjana and Denzel episode – complete with Mirjana admitting to camera in a solo interview she’s, “falling in love” with Dezel. Double ruh roh – girl is losing it and everyone can see it.
Samir: Seeing as we have waved bye-bye to adult behavior already, we move from Lenox predicting doom as the obvious end result of Mirjana’s romantic misadventures, to Kelly Cutrone hawking her long-time dream of releasing a fashion line “Electric Love Army.” This can only be bad.
Margaux: In an unsurprising turn as to why Kelly Cutrone continues to remain on this show, she wants the free labor for her start of line of women clothing. Cutrone picks three team leaders, further splitting them up into three teams of three – Electric, Love, and Army. Original.
Samir: And she allows them to design and plan their own shoots, with little to no setting or decorations of props with which to realize the vision of her dreams. So now she is doing the diva bitch thing behind the scenes the whole time and criticizing miniscule mundane things and giving no direction as to what they should do.
Margaux: Cutrone’s line of clothing offers zero mens clothes so naturally, Cutrone is upset to see all the dudes in the competition…shirtless. And then totally shits on Shei (the second she is out of earshot) to the Nylon photographer after he remarks that he likes Shei’s look, “she doesn’t photograph well” Cutrone tells him. Jesus, harsh much? Let her fail first.
Samir: What was it Raelia said about Mirjana- “Class-you don’t have it!” That’s going to be my motto all season.
Margaux: This is 100% true of Kelly, I understand she’s “a boss” but that doesn’t mean you have to literally yell every single direction at models – how can they differentiate between pressing and just passing comments? When Mirjana’s mis-managed group goes up to shoot, she basically barks at Denzel, “what was my second command?” when Denzel commits the offense of being shirtless, again. Pro tip Kelly, if you want someone to listen, maybe trying to break their spirit as a human being isn’t the best approach. Just saying. It hasn’t gotten you very far.
Samir: It got her a poorly staffed PR agency that no one would really know the name of if they hadn’t seen Kell on Earth. Actually, I still don’t know it. And the note from the kangaroo court behind the camera that the looks aren’t “very Nylon” doesn’t help anyone know what Nylon is other than a generic knockoff of better fashion magazines for people who know how to read. And what brief did they get and not understand?
Margaux: All of the critique of the on the challenge is nonsensical. Kelly berates Mirjana’s group for not “understanding the brief” they honestly never got in the first place.
Samir: Yeah, especially considering this is 25 years in the making!
Margaux: Cherry on top: “Lenox, your hair sucks”. Kelly then moves on Matthew’s group and chastises his use of the word “slut” in describing how Raelia’s make up should look. Even though Kelly openly told the photographer Shei can’t take a picture, her and the rest of Keith’s team win the challenge – despite Kelly complaining about how one of their shots was “degrading to men”.
Samir: Well she was wearing an “I Love Human Rights” t-shirt while subjugating men beneath her feet. Kelly may have had a clue in that one instance. But overall, you can’t take her seriously.
Margaux: Back at the house, Lenox thinks she’s being a snitch for letting Mirjana know Denzel tells everyone in the house that, in essence, he considers their relationship to be a showmance. After Lenox tells Mirjana what she heard, Mirjana calls out Denzel and ends things – for now. Denzel seems unruffled by this, if anything it confirms his suspicions that she’s immature or whatever, basically, he doesn’t think he has to answer to “whore…I mean, her”.
Samir: This is right after Mirjana admits she wants to focus on the competition. Their love wasn’t written in the stars I suppose as she confronts him immediately and throws a chair on the ground and asks him to sit down for an intense conversation. “It’s over!” Hmm, seeing as she’s still got a boyfriend back home, who according to her should expect a letter any day now on the showmance, wasn’t it always going to end? Writing is hard, so she decides to call him instead. This is TV gold.
Margaux: On Mirjana’s phone call confession with her boyfriend, post-Denzel bust up, she plays down what she had with Denzel, omitting the fact completely that she’s banged him in the shower a lot – forever unclean!
Samir: And then promises it will never happen again. Well, she seems like a person who keeps their word.
Margaux: “Love you lots. Lots and lots and lots” CLICK! Those words are super reassuring coming from Mirjana.
Samir: Dear me, it’s the revelation of the reason Tyra insisted on possessing her modelestants’ DNA. So that she can show how deep down many of the models, despite how disparate their immediate cultural or ethnic origins are, can be ancestors of the same people. And of course, Will and Denzel get paired up as having largely Scandinavian roots.
Margaux: I enjoyed Adam’s reaction to finding out he’s Irish, “I take my drinking very seriously”. And apparently, Lenox, Raelia, and Mirjana share Asian heritage. Girl power. Or something.
And somehow, the convoluted “story” of the photoshoot challenge ties into the model-testants discovering their roots. Corey, of cycle 20, returns as the love-interest/sentient robot of everyone’s editorial dreams. I think.
Samir: Perhaps it’s what we’re made of now, and what we’ll be made of in the future? And in the future of today, Denzel’s words are instantly put to the test when posing with Corey, the intertwining of technology and flesh. David Cronenberg – Top Model style! Which is to say all the substance is removed.
Margaux: At least Cronenberg would thrown in a fetish for good measure! I had high hopes for Matthew on this shoot, he is so comfortable with his sexuality, I thought he’d bring it like he did in the Spider Bite commercial. But, unfortunately, he looks Robin Hood scaling a building awkwardly.
Samir: He did look pretty hot in it though, he’s got an easy look to market. As long as he doesn’t win the show he’ll do fine in the biz. In no surprise, Lenox rocks this look too, in a bathtub and a metal swimsuit-like outfit. I fear she’s peaking too early, but I hope to be proven wrong.
Margaux: Will speaks to how Lenox is his biggest competition and honestly, I think they’re in the top two right now. So, like you mentioned before, I think it’ll be interesting when they head out to go-sees and one reject model gets voted back onto the show, how their hot streaks keep up from there.
Samir: That sounds like Romeo talk! But it’s totally true.
Margaux: God damn this stupid Line App and the stickers it rode in on! It brings Mirjana and Denzel back together not even 15 minutes (episode time) after I was getting used to the show not focusing on their fucking coupledom. “The Girl Who Says It’s Over” is a misnomer!
Samir: Those stickers are the straight arrow to her heart. She really loves them; they have this mysterious power over her. A few hearts and teddy bears later, and she’s back in love with Denzel!
Margaux: Eighteen year olds are easy, which is why Denzel crept his ass back in their in the first place. Denzel just wants to bang that “glow” back onto Mirjana’s Grumpy Cat face. Gross.
Samir: And the rest of the ANTM house agrees with you. Everyone’s sick of this crap.
At panel, Miss Jay is channeling the 60’s Supremes for his hair-era on today’s panel. Pedestrian Jay, I expected more.
Margaux: Right?! Miss Jay’s wig looks tired. Like it just gave up and died atop his head before panel even started.
Samir: At least he’s not having any of Cutrone’s crap today either. He disagrees vociferously on some of these photos.
Margaux: I swear, finding out everyone’s heritage is just another excuse for Tyra to bust out her random “accents”. Let. It. Go. Girl.
Samir: Ancestry.com was probably a sponsor of the show this cycle. And she did promise a reveal of her own heritage at the end. Now I KNOW this can only be good. Lenox, perfect tens across the board. Deservedly so. Matthew doesn’t fare so well and gets a score you only want to see on a slot machine – all sevens.
Margaux: Liked the shot of Will and Corey, who knew Will had such a great butt! WERK BOYS. WERK.
Samir: Like Gene Kelly, dancer ass. And his expression in the mirror was more connected than we’ve seen yet this season. AND loved his look at panel tonight, very dapper and adorable.
Margaux: Will’s brother from another Finnish-Scandinavian-Euro Jewish Mother Denzel gets a fairly low score for his stiff pose. Remember Denzel, Corey is the robot, not you.
Samir: His beard weave actually looked decent in the photo for once- his beard weave gets a 9 this week. So who’s moving into the Tyra suite…
Margaux: Lenox, DUH. And Will is pretty much right her heels, called up second. Told you they were Top 2 material. And most improved is Adam which I’m okay with.
Samir: So no one’s moving in because Lenox will not vacate!
Margaux: Her stay in that suite is looking like it’s gonna be quite the extended stay.
Samir: Damn, Matthew and Mirjana as the bottom two, the OG showmance before she floated on to a different man. It’s shallow advice to suggest Mirjana can be bossy and not bitchy, since her only example this episode was Kelly Cutrone.
Margaux: Oh my gosh, I honestly forgot they were ever a thing – Will-Thew Forever! I’m actually sad to see Matthew go home, well – the reject arm of the competition. Wonder if he has a shot to make it back in.
Samir: I call shenanigans! How do those numbers add up? He could have a shot if the social network vote lifts him up.
Margaux: Seriously, he got a higher challenge score than Team Mirjana and their social media scores were within tenths of points – KANGAROO COURT INDEED. Hashtag: NotMySocialMediaVote.
Samir: OMG, a whole scene devoted to Tyra wandering the labyrinthine halls backstage to what looks like a visit to her fortune teller as opposed to a genetic scientist. There are actually Moroccan lamps, candles and a covered round table with cards with her history printed on one side and keys on the other- the keys to the magic that is Tyra. I’ll bet any unsavory bits that predict her legendary self-absorption will be eliminated.
Margaux: FUCK! He makes the mistake of telling Tyra she’s 16% Great British. NONONONONONONONO. She will never stop speaking in that English accent that is even worse than the one Madonna developed when she was married to Guy Ritchie.
Samir: At least she’s not going to wear giant feather headdresses to honor her Native Indian roots. Or at least I think so. But now she has validation that she was always destined to go into business for herself (e.g. her Smize cosmetics). And to me that spells a long future of entertainment for us.
Margaux: Next week, the remaining models get to walk in New York Fashion Week – are we watching the right show Samir?
Samir: I hope so. I wonder if Adam will try his growling antics there too?
Margaux: I don’t think, one spread eagle runway show is more than enough for anybody. Even Adam.
Samir: So next week we will see if Lenox can master walking. I’ll pray for her, the edgy girls also seem to have trouble on the runway.
Margaux: I suppose we’ll have to live in suspense until next week! “The Girl Who Says It’s Over” 5 stars.
Agreed, 5 stars.
Now, go listen to the latest We Were Rooting For You! episode.
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