Monday’s aren’t complete until Samir and I throughly analyze America’s Next Top Model and “The Guy Who Gets Caught in a Lie” isn’t so much about lying as it is about our favorite part of every cycle, GO SEES! And to hear more of our Top Model musing, listen to our podcast, We Were Rooting For You!
Samir: “The Guy Who Gets Caught in a Lie”?? Is it just me or does that seem wrong in hindsight?
Margaux: Another misnomer of a titular episode, if anything that’s what last week should’ve been called with all attention on Adam’s drinking. I would pay good money to see a TBT picture of Adam as self proclaimed “math nerd”.
Samir: I love that his solution to his over partying lifestyle while in Korea is to “drink only beer.” Yeah, because you can’t get drunk on beer.
Margaux: Maybe production has replaced all the beer with the non-alcoholic version.
Samir: At least he doesn’t blame his drinking on the tension of living with Chantalle. EVERYONE hates her. No matter what you think of her, this can’t be easy for her to live with, but she keeps sticking with her lie about stupid things, like not changing her makeup for shoots after it was done! Shei very matter-of-factly denies this, and something about the way she says it I believe her.
Margaux: I agree that it’s probably hard everyone to be in this competition but I think Chantelle is the new Mirjana, she’s just straight up immature and feeds right into all the drama because I’m assuming that is what’s she’s most used to – considering she was bullied in her childhood. She just had to understand the difference between people who are truly trying to be a dick to her and people who are trying to be nice to her. But manages to alienate them all regardless so this is a moot point.
Samir: Lenox seems the most perturbed by her, that’s almost all we hear from her in this episode. Appropriately I suppose, it’s nice that she has some semblance of personality, and that she also misses Raelia 🙁
Margaux: Losing Raelia is real blow felt n this episode, everyone misses her. But, it’s still my favorite episode of every cycle, GO SEES!!!
Samir: And judging from last week, Will is going to have a problem where he is a full foot taller than the average person in S. Korea. But Kelly, looking as dour and unpleasant as ever as she greets the models, remarking at how few contestants there are, as if this was some kind of surprise towards the END of a competition. Again, this show only has suspense for those who haven’t mastered basic arithmetic skills, like addition and subtraction. God help help them if they have any long division to do for some reason.
AND they have to go in pairs?? Will like a starving child grabs the juiciest sustenance available to get away from the rotten fruit.
Margaux: I don’t understand why they paired them off but okay, let’s roll. The twosome teams are: Shei/Will, Adam/Lennox, and Chantelle/Keith. Apparently the hive mind is hard at work, everyone shows up to Resurrection first – Keith and Chantelle bail upon seeing Shei/Will and Adam/Lennox showing up. Keith and Chantelle hit up Jinny Kim, S. Korean shoe designer and Chantelle has her sunglasses on the WHOLE TIME. It drove me crazy! It’s like chewing gum when you accept the award, super rude. Let’s talk about class Chantelle, you don’t have none.
Samir: And Tyra gave them private cars to get around? Gone are the days where they’re handed a T-mobile sidekick and a map in Japanese to find their go-sees. Or hot Italians on vespas.
Margaux: Gone are the days of producer induced tears! Sigh, how I miss them.
I’m starting to feel bad for Will, when he tells one designer he’s 6’6, it’s like he’s from a different planet. None of the pants fit and Will just looks uncomfortable, coupled with his body image issues, this is not how I wanted this to go for him.
Samir: But the designers loved Keith, even though he seems generic in most ways. Lenox’ look, as I thought, is translating well to the S. Korean designers, they are all smitten with her. But yeah, poor Will, he really was the most disadvantaged in this shoot, like being the fiercely real or plus-size girl dispatched to try on clothes that don’t fit then being criticized for not being happy about it. How realistic that Shei’s Ty-Over is costing her work, as some designers don’t dig her Ebony and Ivory do, including eyebrows. A perfect vision of what’s to come if she keeps this look, even though I do think she really rocks it for what it’s worth.
Margaux: Keith worked that dang Keith charm, all smiles and jokes for the designers. OF COURSE South Korea loves Lennox, she’s adorable and has a striking look when she turns it on. I am surprised that all the designers comment on how short Adam is but I’d suppose that’s because he’s so stiff, he comes off as shorter than he is. But kudos to him for going getting to the go-sees sober – I need a beer after watching them run around like this.
Samir: He has to radiate tall! That’s what Ty-Ty would say if she were there. I actually liked all these designers, especially Jinny Kim, but they all had the same feedback for Chantalle- that she didn’t “fit their brand” which seems like a nice way of them say “Your skin creeps me out.” Helps to understand why she’s a tad unpleasant in this competition.
Margaux: By comparison, Tyra’s advice to Will would be to make himself seem “shorter” by charming them over the way Keith did and ended up booking 4 shows. I did like seeing all the designers too, I always love seeing the fashion in the other countries they visit and what they’re looking for.
And I think Chantelle would of stood a better chance if she took off her sunglasses and took Tyra’s advice of loosening up, one designer remarks that she didn’t have the chance to “meet” Chantelle – which in my Google translate brain means, she didn’t try any harder than saying, “Hi, I’m Chantelle”. And she only booked 1 show to Lennox’s 4. I still don’t understand why Lennox didn’t win Top Girl, just because she didn’t go to all five? She still had a better average than Keith, she booked the 4 out 4 of the designers she saw. UGH ADAM THE MATH NERD, SOLVE THIS!
Samir: I think it’s BS that Keith wins the challenge because he went to all 5 go sees if he booked the same number of shows as Lenox. How ironic that he’s praised for making it work even though he didn’t fit the clothes (despite being like 6 inches shorter, so not as tough a time really) and then his prize is a rack of clothes from each designer that invariably will not fit him. Enjoy tearing all your coats when you raise your arms Keith.
Margaux: Hahaha Keith did look a little Hulk-y on those go-sees.
We get another client for this challenge photoshoot and it’s one of the designers we met on go-sees, Jinny Kim – who’s a shoe and accessory designer. Woof, poor Will is gonna have a hard time shoving his dogs in whatever size shoe they happen to have for him.
Samir: Perhaps he should start binding his feet, if they were in Ancient China, he could have practiced by now. Tyra actually checks up on Adam at his shoot, and gets WAY too involved in his poses, literally molding his stiff body into something, and shoving the Korean models together with him. I thought Yu-Tsai was directing this shoot?
Margaux: Maybe Tyra stopped by to make sure Adam wasn’t drinking/drunk on set this time – ensuring she’ll be welcomed to S.Korea again. I did love Adam’s hot pink suit though, I thought he looked really sharp. And never say shit like that.
Oh man, Will wears a size 13 and has to model the crap out of these size 10, S. Korean torture chamber shoes. He looks sexy with that stubble, no effeminate Will here today child!
Samir: The stubble really works, but you could see his feet creating all kinds of unshapely bulges in Jinny Kim’s shoes. Yu-Tsai says that being that tall will be a hindrance in the modeling world, so he has no future you’re saying? Bitch, please. Tall and skinny won’t sell in modeling?
Margaux: When Chantelle steps on set, she looks fantastic, but when the camera starts clicking something just…dies out. Even when Tyra makes the suggestion of having Chantelle whip her hair around, something is still missing, she’s not interacting with the male model. Good thing those shoes are hot.
Samir: As Janice Dickinson once said “It looks like the batteries in her vibrator just died.” Side note – This is why, Kelly, you will never be Janice, so stop trying. She is still simmering over being called a panda by Yu-Tsai, which she then has a conversation with him about it, which does not go very well. In the moment she doesn’t express her feelings as well as she could have, but I understand totally where she’s coming from. Yu-Tsai’s difficulty with her stand-offish attitude carries over into the house later one, where the big lie comes out. And it’s really just sad more than infuriating. Keith I guess is the guy “caught” in the lie because it’s about him, but Chantalle is the one who literally gets caught in the better sense of this expression. Being another lie, it makes the rest of the house hate her just the same, but Keith tries to take it in a more all-encompassing view and feels for her, for having lived a life that made her think that it was necessary to tell people she hooked up with him. I don’t know what she hopes to accomplish by sleeping in the hall “for the rest of the time she’s there” in response to the increased animosity.
Margaux: Keith, being the beautiful and introspective man he is, totally calls it right – she’s embarrassed and hurt her relationship with Keith as friends so, to the hallway she goes. To be honest, I don’t understand what the point of this whole aside is, other than to hammer home the fact that everyone hates Chantelle – which is very, very clear
Samir: This whole episode had a very scripted feel- Keith is our boy tonight. And to do this, they had to bring Lenox down – I feel fishiness afoot (and not in the RuPaul way).
Margaux: Haha, I do too. I’m glad you mentioned tonights episode felt scripted because it really did! Everything is just going Keith’s way (a less than subtle hint a Guy will win this season?) and Lennox’s minor fall from grace also felt a little too…perfect. Keith, Mr. Challenge Winner, gets another flush – 10’s from all the judges.
Samir: Miss J kills it with the “you look like unchewed Bazooka Joe,” to Adam (re: his hot pink suit). But what are “rear-enderies”? Whatever they are, Shei got it in spades. My Tyra to English dictionary says that means… nothing.
I agree with you, Chantalle’s photo doesn’t work because she is not engaged with the scene or the other model. But Kelly is WAY off about Will’s photo, her attempts to be the Cowell/Dickinson/asshole judge is still a failure. Ty-Ty is getting misty,…down there, over Will!
Margaux: “Will, if you was 20 years younger and STRAIGHT, we’d have to get some kimchi right now”. Oh Tyra, I love you girl! This line had me cackling out loud. But I agree with Tyra and you, Kelly needs to go back to bed, this picture is great! Plus, it doesn’t even look like those shoes are 3 sizes too small, like some fucked up Grinch photoshoot.
Samir: You’re a mean one Kelly Cutrone. Enjoy your sauerkraut sandwich, tis the season. So once again, the outcome of this episode is a mystery only to those who can’t add. Which is apparently everyone at panel.
Margaux: Keith’s S. Korean streak of luck continues – wins best photo this week and won the go-see challenge earlier. 2nd best goes to Lenox, is this some sort of foreshadowing of the Top 2?
Samir: At least Will channeled Raelia when he gets his photo! And I actually chuckled when Adam tricked Tyra into thinking he was plastered again. Cruel buddy, Tyra cares! But he was happily sober. But those nicknames for the bottom two, Ty-Ty baby, you have lost your mind with the fake modeling vocab tonight.
Margaux: Gosh, we should start betting on ANTM – we’d get rich so fast! We called it last week that the bottom two would be Chantelle and Adam and hello, here they are.
And the curtain closes on Chantelle, where’d those fans who voted you back in go? The score difference between Chantelle and Adam is pretty big, Adam: 37 – Chantelle: 33.
Samir: Tyra’s speech to Chantalle was refreshingly straightforward and nice- reminding her that if social media voted her back that means her skin isn’t the hindrance she was raised to think it was, that it means the possibility of a career, though we shall see if her association with this show allows that to happen.
Margaux: I just think it’s funny they had to superimpose Chantelle back into the group photo at the end, only to have to superimpose her back out two episodes later. It feels good to laugh again after Raelia went home last week.
Samir: It makes me want to try out for the show, now that they’re casting again. I just need to drop 30 pounds, 10 years, and the glasses.
Margaux: DO IT DO IT DO IT – GO ON WITH YOUR BAD, BOOTCHING SELF SAMIR!
Star count? PS: starting your ANTM social media campaign right now.
Samir: I say 4.5 stars, ½ star off for the scripted Keith stuff, but 4.5 for Chantalle going “home.” I’m starting the Paleo diet as we speak or scheduling an appointment with a liposuction specialist, I have to decide. I’m keeping the glasses, they’re my signature.
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