America’s Next Top Model gets possessed this week by a lot shadiness, among other things.
Samir: So I take it from previous episodes, that the title refers to an insignificant detail in the episode that we’ll barely notice.
Nyle is already talking about how the judges find him boring, which makes me sad because that sounds like the beginning of a loser edit 🙁 Ava’s drama talk is going to give him a run for his money though. And cue the drama! There’s some mad shade robbing these modeltestants of vitamin D.
Margaux: Goodness, it’s like Beetlejuice up in this bitch – if you say drama three times, it just starts happening around you.
Ava’s home schooled and doesn’t have much experience with large group dynamics, on the other hand, suddenly everyone has “had it” with Hadassah’s weak modeling and prickly demeanor. How you gonna me feel bad for Hadassah, Top Model? Everyone’s ganging up on her for being the only one who likes to work out on an elliptical.
Samir: “You look like a personal trainer!” that nugget from last cycle still sells. Why do contestants on this show distrust people who work out?
But speaking of old things that don’t go away, Whitney the unjust winner from Cycle 8 (?) is here to help Kelly earn her paycheck to promote her client “SimplyBe.” Only Whitney will actually be modeling the SimplyBe clothes according to themes each randomly assigned teams choose, such as SimplyBe Sassy, and other gems.
Samir: Kelly strikes fear into these people like they could be her next meal at any given moment, so they all try to stay on her good side, even lying and saying that being on the SimplyBe website would be a huge step forward in their career. How Kelly is pleasing her client by having the models wear other designers’ clothes is a mystery yet to be solved.
Margaux: It’s going to have to be a mystery that gets a solved another day because we a moment to rejoice, Nyle might not have to live out the loser episode arc this episode after all! Against all ironic odds, Nyle is crowned the challenge winner of the SimplyBe “Heard” campaign. His photo, shared with the lesser J-Smooth and Whitney, really was the best one and told a story you sorta understand, I think. I mean, what the hell was Ava’s “Fearless” campaign? Why the hell did Kelly force Mamé and Mikey to kiss, their SimplyBe theme was “seduction”, where they do not in fact kiss, and the photo/theme somehow still makes little to no sense. Also: WHAT ARE THEY EVEN SELLING? IS IT CLOTHES? A MOOD?
Samir: Phew, Nyle will live to take his shirt off another week. And we all know Kelly needs to live vicariously through a younger girl to feel the magic of Mikey, that’s the only real reason that comes to mind. Because she totally has the hots for him, which she doesn’t hide very well.
I am loving this fight between the pageant queens Mamé and Hadassah has lasted from the bathroom to the bus to the main challenge. Never turn your back on a pageant girl.
Margaux: Started from the bathroom now we here. To quote Nyle, “sorry you have to listen to all this drama”.
Samir: See, his not being able to hear is proving to be the most prized asset on this show.
If they’re doing “possessed” photo shoots with special contact lenses, you’d think this would be a prime time to focus on Bello’s “natural” eyes which shouldn’t need special lenses for him to look possessed. But curiously we have seen no shots of him getting his contacts put in…
Margaux: That’s because Bello’s are oh-so natural, he doesn’t need the contacts, his are already in. I mean, he was born with it.
But let’s see these modeltestants work this editorial exorcism already!
Samir: All the models look pretty amazing in theses ghostly looks, but I’m a whore for macabre ghosty things anyways. Yu Tsai’s screaming and irritation does little to draw a better performance from the struggling Hadassah. To the delight and glee of Mamé, with whom she has been quarreling very recently.
I am not a fan of Yu Tsai encouraging the models to scream as well to get into character. Justin says it best “I don’t know what possession is supposed to look like.” No one ever really defines this for us do they?
Margaux: Even if it was explained to Justin, he’d still look like the sack of potatoes he is. And it somehow get more embarrassing for him when Yu Tsai calls up Mamé to coach some personality out of him (spoiler alert: he doesn’t have any, ssshh).
Nyle on the uppity up swing is making everyone really nervous – except Lacey, who has the good sense to have a crush on him AND have him staying as her guest in the Tyra Suite. UHHH NAH NAH NAH!
Samir: And it looks like she learned a little ASL as well, ooh la la. It’s like absorbing the language of your lover. I’m willing to let this ship sail.
Margaux: Maybe Mamé’s direction during Justin’s shoot helped him stick around week.
Of course Courtney totally kills this possessed thing, between the hair and the gap tooth, Kelly can take her critique and shove it.
Samir: Kelly is never going to please us, I know this. But somehow every time she speaks it chills me to the bone. Some of these photos are OK, but the results of this photo shoot, in focus or not, are not terribly thrilling. Even with the scream sound effects the editors added to the reveal of each photo. I greatly enjoyed that Mamé’s incredulous face is arguing with the judges’ love for Hadassah’s photo.
Margaux: Why is Hadassah dressed like she’s going to an interview to be a CEO’s assistant? Thank GAWD she managed to pull out an (in focus) shot that will hopefully keep her out of the bottom two . She sold that humble-brag, single tear as she thanked the judges, very pagent.
Thoughts on Bello’s ass-erpiece possession?
Samir: He showed the best side of his personality, and I didn’t really want a piece of that either.
Margaux: Goodness, no! I mean, I can’t imagine all the judges laughing at you as a positive sign of Bello’s ultimate score. But I think Mikey might beat Bello to the bottom this week, the judges were less than excited about his photo.
Samir: So everyone was right to be scared of Nyle, winning best photo of the week, too. That’s right Tyra, his improvement is about “listening” to your advice. Again, his ability to literally not listen is proving fruitful.
Margaux: Power couple alert! Nyle and Lacey land in the top two, where I expect them to stay. But of course Miss Mamé turned in another bomb photo, and the real surprise, Hadassah getting called 4th instead of last.
Samir: And the Ava train to Elimination seems to be riding full speed ahead, yet Courtney is down on the bottom with her. Nice reference to when Ava was good at modeling, before her Ty-Over. You did that Tyra.
Margaux: Love how Tyra preaches confidence at Courtney, as she stands in front of her, a blubbering mess in the bottom two. I honestly doubt Courtney’s confidence will be skyrocketing after this experience.
The only one rightfully crying (sit down Courtney!) is Ava, I mean, look at her hair! It’s so tragic. It’s a slap in Ava’s face, too, when the entire judging panel tells her she looks like a soccer mom – THIS IS THE SHOWS FAULT! And Ava’s goodbye photo montage? It went from totally fierce total tragedy as soon as that (not) high fashion mullet enters the picture. Poor girl. She’s up there with Kari, at least she didn’t look like she was literally burned. Just figuratively.
Samir: Let’s hope she can turn it into something useful for whatever industry she winds up in. Or let’s just hope that her hair grows fast. It’s a shame one can’t insure their hair before going on this show-they should get some kind of settlement for having to return to the real world with whatever monstrosity has been foisted upon their heads.
Margaux: Wanna talk stars?
Samir: The emergence of Nyle as a threat makes this another high rating this week. They tried to scare us for a minute there, but I do think they got it right with sending Ava home, even if they themselves are at fault for ruining her. Overall, I think there’s a little more craziness necessary to push this over the 4.5 star edge, so that’s where I teeter precariously.
Don’t forget to listen to an extra long We Were Rooting For You! podcast episode, where we cover “The Guy Who Gets a Hickey” and “The Girl Who Gets Possessed”.
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