It’s hard to say goodbye to this cycle of America’s Next Top Model but Samir and I push past our emotions to review the two-part finale and welcome a new Top Model winner. Don’t forget to listen to our last ANTM podcast for the season, We Were Rooting For You! And remember, it’s not goodbye, it’s just see you soon.
Samir: The moment we’ve been waiting for, for two whole weeks. How ever did we stand it? I had as hard a time as Lennox does being the “last girl standing.” We actually get a thorough run-down of the individual story lines of each remaining contestant to kick us off.
Margaux: And thankfully in the midst of wrapping up all these sad stories, we get the Tyra Mail message that we won’t even have to wait very long for her makeup line shoot.
Samir: And we get to see most of them cry before we even get to the all-wet intro. Lennox wants to buy her mom a house, Will is overcome with his new openness and acceptance, and the spirit of Keith’s father is haunting the ANTM house to watch over him.
Margaux: The explanation behind our patented Ty-Overs of every cycle, which naturally leads to Tyra plugging her upcoming line, TYRA! (emphasis my own). In grand Tyra tradition of making up words, she goes into the term: beauty-tainment. It’s just a long winded excuse for Tyra re-welcome the rejected models to lend a helping hand for the Tyra! cosmetic commercial. This is only important because it’s the reunion of Will-lea!!!!
Samir: “Interesting and quirky names” for products eh? “Smack My Fat Lash” is the best of them by far, much more interesting than “Lip Model.” This Trya Beauty-tainment franchise is sure to entertain during it’s questionable life. And thank you for the return of Will-lea! Ooh Tyra is excited to shoot Kari in a photograph. Looks like you shot her pretty bad already with your Ty-Over, which apparently she was forced to keep while waiting to be brought back for this finale.
Margaux: Woof, poor White Gollum. Chantelle already thinks no one is happy to see her because this finale is really all about her. Good thing Allison Harvard, from the All-Stars cycle, is really a welcomed surprise. And totally perfect for a beauty shoot where eyes are the focus.
Samir: Oh ick- Mirjana and Denzel are still together. Blech. But I’m THRILLED that Alison is back, I loved her. She’s been working the Philippines. The artsy girls always do well in the Pacific/Asia Pacific/South Asia regions, like Elyse Sewell from Cycle 1, Alison, and now Lennox. Neither of them won. And I think this is basically a way of introducing that Lennox is obviously not going to win here. And that like non-winners Alison and Elyse, where she is right now, in this region, is the place to be to get paying modeling work. And Alison gets her shot in like 5 minutes. Bitch, werk.
Margaux: Rut roh, in Will’s shoot for contour concealer, he has be shirtless and pull it off in 2 minutes. Ugh, poor guy, he’s come so far only to let his insecurities get the best of him – unfortunately. Hopefully he’ll heed the advice of Allison, finding his market and branching out there. But he gets positive feedback from Tyra and Yu Tsai, striking fear in Keith’s good looking heart. PHEW.
Samir: After they painted on his abs with Tyra’s magic makeup line. Would you call that a “Boom Boom Boom stick?” Is that going to be a future product for those who eat too much pizza and never work out? Lennox shoots with Tyra and impresses with her smize, while wearing smize? Is that just Tyra’s great makeup or Lennox’s abilities?
Margaux: Probably little from column A and little from column B. Real glad Adam went on one last drunken rant before he gets eliminated, and right at the end of what looks like a nice Korean BBQ dinner. Hope Adam’s hangover will give him a little boost for their Guess shoot at the Top Model judging quarters: South Korea.
Samir: Keith does have reason to worry about working with Yu-Tsai again, but is it really a surprise that he would be at this point? The montage is just of Yu-Tsai screaming at him, but in all fairness Keith Yu-Tsai does that with everyone. And does Adam still sound drunk in his solo interviews?
Margaux: He does! He’s slurring his words and looks all shiny like soul food cook. But no matter what he looks and sounds like in his interview, Adam – the self-declared (drunken) “underdog” – impressed Yu Tsai. It’s probably because Yu Tsai finally mimed taking a stick out of Adam’s ass.
Samir: It worked though, he loved Adam tonight. Will he is a little more critical of, and WIll tears up again. He also pulls it together it seems, but I get a negative vibe from that shoot. Not quite as negative as Lennox. Then we get to Keith. The cutting together of the solo interviews makes Will a manic depressive going from supreme confidence and crushing lows within 5 minutes. Just as there’s a group shot, Tyra and the devil Kelly Cutrone show up. They’ve been watching all along! Who knew producers watched their own shows?
Margaux: Recurring ghost theme! Tyra and the other judges have been watching their Guess shoot the ENTIRE TIME. Dun, dun. And as we predicted, someone is going to go home before the big runway show.
Samir: Totally called it! They rid us off the chaff after the photo shoot and before the runway. And who will it be… Will seems to get good feedback, Lennox’ is more mixed. Kelly thinks Lennox overdid the sexy in the Guess shoot? Lennox over the top sexually?
Margaux: I actually agreed with Kelly, I thought Lennox’s “sexy” color shot was over-the-top in a try hard way. But thought it fit the cheesy/sexy brand of Guess. I was underwhelmed by Adam’s photo’s as oppose to the judges who totally raved about it.
Samir: Adam’s eyes and face are darting around nervously like he just robbed the place. But they all love his photos. I thought they were good, but thought he wasn’t the best. Keith was not that great, the color shot is half obscured by all the color. His B/W photo was pretty good though. WIll was better than both, but Adam got the best feedback. Lennox’ B/W shot was great, but as you said her color shot was cheesy, yet in the way that works for the brand.
Margaux: So who will be going…right…now?
Best photo goes to Adam – sort of unsurprising considering his positive feedback. Lenox and I are both in shock though. From frat to fierce indeed!
Samir: Will is in! I knew he’d make it, to tower over the audience, and Adam, in the runway show. Keith and Lennox were the obvious bottom two after all we have seen so far. Each had one good shot in B/W and one meh shot in color. And of course there’s a fucking cliffhanger! Will’s shocked and bemused “What in the world just happened?” could either mean that it’s an all-man finale, or no one was eliminated? Thankfully, my furious anger has abated slightly now that I realize the resolution of that cliffhanger awaits us immediately, since the second hour of this finale begins…..
Margaux: Gotta get those last cliffhangers in where you can! It’s the two part finale, when will Tyra be able to pull this shit on us until next year? To be fair, it’s DOUBLE cliffhanger because we get to see her Tyra! makeup line commercials in the second part of this two-part finale…
…KEITH OR LENOX – WHO’LL IT BE?!?!?!
Samir: Who can sell makeup easier?
Margaux: Frat to fierce, Baby Tyson Beckford, Will of Will-lea, or Don’t-Call-Me-Sexy Lenox; who will be on top?! For now, Keith barely makes the cut, making it the first-ever Top Three, all male America’s Next Top Model. Dang – actually did not see that coming, I thought Lenox would at least get to the runway show.
Samir: So Tyra makes good on her word to have a male winner this cycle. She was the obvious choice to sell Smize cosmetics, but she’ll just have to start a real modeling career in south Asia to buy that house for her Mom, and thankfully get a chance to mourn her father off-camera. She kept mum about that ALL cycle! I’m impressed she avoided the exploitation of that by the producers for this long.
Margaux: This is a HUGE twist in Top Model land, like the only twist that could possibly be left after 21 cycles of chicks ruling the title. I’m sad to see Lenox go but I do think she’s better for it, she can start her career now. Most likely in Asia, she doesn’t even have to go back to the airport if she doesn’t want to! Back with bro-tastic final three, Keith is fighting the urge to cry because of all the tension built to this point. These three guys all embody different male ideals, it’ll be interesting to see who’ll win it all.
Samir: Feeling more confident in my prediction that Keith is gonna take it home, Tyra and the other judges picked him over Lenox (no social media vote played a part), who the judges also loved.
But his talk about his father again could cut either way. That’s usually the kiss of death-when the show starts with you grieving for family. He does still seem the most likely candidate. It’s now going to be decided on the runway, so it’ll come down to whoever sells well there. Both Will and Keith have the goods, Adam less so. Will Will’s height be a handicap here too? Oh, and if Jordan has the time to walk in an ANTM finale runway, then “Top Model” she is not. I imagine in her head when she says “I know exactly how you’re feeling right now” she really is thinking “How did I spend $100,000 so fast and so poorly?” She’s the ghost of ANTM future- this could be you!
Margaux: Hahahaha Jordan does have a ghostly look about her now, maybe it’s the mousey brown hair. And her gaunt frame.
Samir: The weird bottomless darkness in her eyes, like Judy Garland, tells a haunted tale. Raelia, just a few moments of you warms my heart, of course you’re on Team Will 😀
Margaux: As if it were ever question she was on anyone elses team. Good to know Denzel’s homophobia is holding true, still rooting for Keith, since he’s the closest “guy like him” that could win. And no, he’s not talking about them both being black.
Samir: He means straight. But we all know he’s a bottom if he’s still with Mirjana. But I really don’t like any of their outfits in this final runway. Adam’s blue blazer is kinda fly though. And I LOVE Tyra’s “Chloe from Don’t Trust the B“ wig
Margaux: A little K-Pop, that sounds suspiciously like Gwen Stefani solo career, before we kick this runway off? I’ll give 2NE1 credit for being catchy as hell. Good luck living up to that act models!
Samir: OH damn! a “very important announcement” from Tyra before the runway??? Cut to commercial, FFWD through commercial. And this announcement is “HAVE FUN!”
Margaux: Four minutes before the show is to start, Tyra decides THIS is the perfect moment to pull a prank on everyone’s nerves. And if she can shame Lenox for not being a better model to make it to the Final Three, well – that’s just a bonus for Ty-Ty.
Samir: Well, maybe it’s the shakeup they needed to quell the nerves and get the adrenaline flowing. Now that they’re already terrified, the runway will be nothing compared to Tyra tightening her vice grip on their hearts and minds. Thank God Mirjana looks awful on the runway. Karma isn’t the right word here, but whatever it is has taken it’s toll on her tonight. Will looks driven and focused, see making his heart skip a beat was Tyra’s gift to him…I hope. BTW, these Korean male models are HOT! OMG, Keith’s talk about his family takes a much darker turn and he finally cries, as he said he needed to earlier. A weird segue into his stepping onto the runway. You have to booch the tear ducts on this show too.
Margaux: To be honest, I’m just really happy Adam didn’t share some super dark, childhood secret. I never needed to know about Keith crying before every high school football game because he knew his parents weren’t in the stands. So, he’d pick a family and pretend they were his parents. HOW DARK IS THAT?! No wonder Adam drinks so much, to suppress himself from telling the literal world things like that.
Samir: If you could hear the sound I made when I saw Miss J’s final “period” hairdo, you’d understand just how awful it is to me. I really look forward to the explanation for this.
OH it’s what I thought- he just stuck into his hair… everything he couldn’t throw away from his trip to S. Korea. It’s time to review their performances- heavy analysis is about to happen. About walking. I think we can safely say Adam is definitely not winning. But they tear into Will which surprises me. He’s doing the exact same thing they praised in his walk before.
Margaux: Oaf, Adam’s second walk reminded me of their acting challenge from last week, all darty-ness and shaky legs. Super awkward.
Samir: The commercials!! The Boom Boom Boom stick is “Sculpt in a Stick.” I don’t think it can save everyone though. But I’ll buy it anyways. Keith WAY overdoes the smarm and swagger. Practically cartoonish, but they praise him anyways.
Margaux: Will looks like boy-bander in his commercial, and I mean that as a compliment! It’s not Will’s fault Tyra’s aesthetic is 90s.
Samir: I noticed even in Tyra’s commercial, where she was so excited to shoot Kari, she had to tacitly admit to the horror of her mutilation of her beauty by blurring out all of Kari’s images. No clear shot of White Gollum to take away.
Margaux: I was actually going to say that Kari was a surprisingly good spokesmodel for being so scary looking. But let’s not talk about Kari’s past. I love it when the judges go back over the remaining model’s body of work through the cycle.
Samir: Me too, but this montage of their work is very misleading and curiously compiled, not a full representation of their work throughout the show. Kelly’s poor taste makes itself apparent again, because she opens her mouth. Please Tyra, for the love of the RuPaul’s Drag Race pit crew, will you drive Kelly Cutrone out to a canyon and abandon her there- I doubt she’ll find her way back home?
Margaux: It just dawned on me, Keith’s black and white Guess photo looks A LOT like Terry Richardson joint. THAT’S not a compliment.
Samir: As well it shouldn’t be. Adam is out, not a surprise. Did we call this final two last week? Keith vs. Will! Tyra looks way too much like a little girl, very Bad Seed without the braids. You’re “30-no-more,” not “30-Never” Tyra.
Margaux: Ha! She does have a little,” I bought this from the Juniors Section” going on. The bangs, not helping.
Samir: I guess that explains the outcome. I’m not happy, but not surprised. At least, as winner of this show, we can rest assured that we’ll never actually see him in any high-profile work in the future. So it’s actually a win-win. Everyone should rejoice, it’s the holidays after all.
Margaux: Manaconda is America’s Next Top Model!
To echo your sentiments, I’m not surprised – Top Model loves to harp on this “total package” idea and I think Keith does have that. Seems like a nice enough dude who just wants to help his mama (<- Tu-pac voice), I’ll give it to him. If anything because I know Will end up getting work no matter what, which is all the investment I had in this outcome.
Samir: Oh they ALL want to help their mothers. That’s lovely and all, but Ed Gein also loved his mother, so that means nothing here! The whole thing just felt so pre-determined from day one that I couldn’t root for Keith. He was pretty consistently over-praised (especially by Kelly) and his flaws that you knew he was the obvious choice. He’s a charmer, but I hope a real personality emerges in the future. However, I will always have faith in Tyra’s insanity as an essential element of beauty-tainment, and that means accepting the consequences of that insanity. Not a heart-racing end to this cycle, but not without it’s merits.
Margaux: To be fair, it was a predictably safe choice which is something America’s Next Top Model is wont to do. But a sighing congrats is in order to Keith Carlos for taking it all home in cycle 21. Not going to lie, was a little bummed Tyra didn’t have her typical one-on-one shoot with the top two models.
Samir: I bid farewell to you ANTM. It will be a bitter 6 months without your stream-of-crazy. It’ll be back by then right?
Margaux: Sounds likes their still casting for cycle 22, probably going to shoot for three frantic weeks, to be ready to go up in most likely six months. It’s always hard to say goodbye to ANTM, namely, seeing Tyra -and her brand of beauty-tainment- every week. And even though this 2-part finale was dragged out a lot at times, and more predictable than usual, we’ll always have Will-lea! And for that, cycle 21 will always hold a special place in our hearts.
Want to give your score for the 2-parter and then your star count for the season as a whole?
Samir: I say 4 stars for the finale, 4.5 stars for the season. I got quite attached to some of these folks, and it’s not Top Model unless I hate the outcome. Final verdict: another successful trip to the psych-ward. Until the restraints are next released!
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