For this week’s installment of Bad Movie Review, Margaux and I took a look at 2001’s Domestic Disturbance, a thoroughly forgettable thriller starring John Travolta and Vince Vaughn. But at least it washed the taste of The Third Wheel out of our mouths.
Margaux: Remember when Vince Vaughn tried to have a career as “the bad guy” in the late 90s-early 2000s? First Clay Pigeons, then that horribly glorious remake of Psycho, and to complete the trifecta – Domestic Disturbance. Always being fan of Vaughn’s comedic work (minus the last five-ish years), it was hard to not laugh out loud at most of his lines. I know he’s got dead-ass eyes, but he’s too tall to be considered “menacing.”
Trevor: Haha, that’s a really weird criteria. I actually liked Vaughn in this; it was early enough in his career that he actually seemed to be trying, which is more than you can say for John Travolta, or, ugh, Teri Polo, who I’ll get to later.
In fact, since seeing this in theaters (which I did for some reason), the only things I remembered were the opening credits and Vaughn’s “You’re a little fuckin liar” line, both of which hold up pretty well. The opening credits are pretty good! So the title designer was trying too. That makes two people.
Margaux: I wasn’t saying Vaughn wasn’t trying, he was – he did in Psycho too – doesn’t make it any less funny to watch him try. I felt whenever Vaughn’s character Rick attempted to be abusive to Danny (I felt like everyone’s name – like most of the movie – was an afterthought) it’s like, he’s at crotch-kneeing height – problem fucking solved buddy!
Trevor: Haha, good point. And you’re so right about the names. A big reason Domestic Disturbance is so forgettable – besides the entirety of its 90-minute runtime – is the names. Frank, Rick, Danny, Susan, and Ray. Fuckin SNORE.
I hated Danny. Matt O’Leary isn’t a terrible actor – he was in Bill Paxton’s amazing Frailty the same year – but the character was all over the place. First of all, that spiky hair wasn’t even cool in 2001, and second, if he’s such a rebellious pathological liar, why would he join the school basketball team? And does he like basketball or baseball? I think it’s just a convention of any movie with divorced parents at its center. I wrote in my notes, “Kids always be havin games.” And it’s true.
Margaux: Danny, much like his Mother (Teri Polo) in the movie, was all over the place. Teri Polo was like the original Skylar in this, stand by idling for 89% of the time then ALL OF SUDDEN and ALL AT ONCE – DO SOMETHING. I think a lot of the direction Matt O’Leary must of been given was, “be a shithead”. And for all of Danny’s supposedly “rebellious” behaviour, he is fucking terrible at sleuthing! How is he never made – before, during, or after – when he witnesses Rick murder his buddy Ray (Steve Buscemi)?
Trevor: I totally agree. Let’s pump the brakes a bit, because as always I feel the need to rehash the plot.
Frank Morrison is the divorced father of Danny, whose mother Susan is marrying local businessman Rick. But when Danny sees Rick murder his old friend Ray, it’s up to him and his father to fight the town’s disbelief and save oh god I can’t even finish. I’m so bored.
I wonder, why was this made? It wasn’t a laughably bad movie, but were people excited every day to go work on Domestic Disturbance? I understand why Polo and Vaughn said yes to this, but why Travolta? Did anyone think this was an essential film? Even director Harold Becker, who did The Onion Field, for Christ’s sake!
Margaux: I’m gonna go with nope. A lot of Domestic Disturbance uses my favorite Bad Movie trope, a small town guy – with ZERO law enforcement expertise – eschews his ENTIRE life to bring down a bad guy and prove how dumb cops are. With no legal repercussions. Will say this for Travolta though, his wig was working overtime in this – maybe he was blackmailed into it, or just wanted to show off his new hair piece. Either way, he looked half asleep for most of this movie, I’d like to picture him in his trailer, mumbling to himself in the mirror, “this is what the bottom looks like”.
Trevor: The hair was really distracting. There were early 2000s haircuts all over the place.
Did you notice the weird editing? Scenes ended so abruptly. I’m thinking in particular of the scene where Frank (Travolta does not look like a “Frank,” by the way) and Danny are working on a boat, and Frank says he overheard Danny’s crush talking about him. Then he ribs him a little: “And she said your dad’s a fox.” Then cut. No reaction shot from Danny, no laughing, just a line to make Frank sound like a pedophile and nothing else to disprove that notion.
Margaux: Two things. So glad you brought up that Travolta doesn’t look like a Frank because I wrote in my notes, “I cannot commit any of these characters names to memory because they’re so blatantly random”. And I was hoping you were gonna bring up the abrupt scene in the diner; Frank runs into Ray (Buscemi) over coffee and they start to discuss the quaint towns charm then, Ray goes, “there’s no adult bookstore – haha.” END SCENE. What the hell?! It was such a rash segue that they share a laugh over – I guess they’ve bonded now? Over titty magazines? I need a shower.
Trevor: Yeah, that stuck out to me too. Especially because Buscemi was playing a half-assed variation on his Carl Showalter from Fargo. More of a blackmailer than a hitman, but still a fan of screwing prostitutes and watching sports in a motel room. Only Buscemi could make that look anything less than amazingly fun.
Margaux: It was strange to watch Buscemi do a poor man’s version of a character he’s played but whatever, the check cleared.
So, Buscemi’s Ray gets whacked and Danny runs to his Dad’s – IN THE RAIN, OF COURSE – to rat on Rick, turning the next 30 minutes of the movie into a vaguely ominous version of Kramer vs Kramer.
Trevor: Yeah, and when Danny is at the police station with Frank, explaining everything to the willfully stupid Sgt. Stevens, Rick joins them in the interrogation room. That can’t be legal! I know you have the right to face your accuser, but that only applies to the courtroom. A 12-year-old kid in the same room with a man he knows is a murderer? That is textbook harassment and intimidation.
But people just kept flip-flopping. Even Frank didn’t believe Danny, until a chance encounter with Ray, then he TOTALLY believed Danny. Also, Travolta disappeared for most of act two (everything after the murder), which was weird.
Margaux: Right?! I was like, what kind of ramshackle Night Court bullshit is going on here? Like a kid is more inclined to tell the truth with a bunch of adults staring him down. Oh yeah, plus no one believes Danny but Travolta’s wig. And there was a point in the movie where it almost seems like Frank is scared of Danny, and Danny is getting a little cocky, then switches again. Frank makes not even that credible of a threat against Danny’s Dad and all of sudden, Danny is terrified of Frank again and leads Travolta to truly believe his sons accusations against Frank. And Teri Polo is pregnant with Rick’s child!
Trevor: I wondered, why did Rick marry Susan? He’s covering a shady past an a racketeer, but there’s no warmth or affection between the two. Does he really love her? Is she just a cover for him trying to go straight? Because if he’s trying to go straight, he’s not trying very hard; he murdered Ray with zero compunctions.
And what’s the deal with Teri Polo? Who has ever read a script and thought “Teri Polo would be perfect for this!” She’s not an actress you cast, she’s an actress you settle for. She’s so bland. She’s like a person made of mayonnaise.
Margaux: Hahaha agreed, Teri Polo is like female Luke Wilson – star of last week’s disaster. Her frosty and shallow relationship with Rick only added to afterthought feel of Domestic Disturbance, like the writer only had the EPIC ENDING and had to throw together some characters that do shit in order to get there. And the showdown in the third act wasn’t even that satisfying! I thought Danny’s escape route from his mom and step-dad’s house would come into play again but it doesn’t! It all ends in the fucking garage. And not in that cool, Scream way you might be thinking.
Trevor: But first Rick knocks out Susan, after knocking out Frank. Morrisons are easily knocked out. Then Rick starts beating up Danny – for a PG-13 movie, Domestic Disturbance had a surprising amount of violence towards teenagers and pregnant women. (Also, this shouldn’t have made me write “Kick his ass, Rick!” in my notes, but that’s the movie’s fault, not mine.)
Margaux: When Susan went down like the sack of potatoes she is, I wrote, “well, losing the unborn baby might not be the worst outcome. Perspective!” All in all, we knew that Danny would eventually redeem his shithead self and kill Frank, which he does in the most awkward way. He head butts Rick in the ass, into an electrical panel (while Rick is holding a crowbar). Rick dies upon contact, so, convenient for everyone!
Trevor: I knew the electrocution scene was coming, because that panel was shooting out sparks like an 80s metal video, but Vaughn’s reaction to it looked more like constipation than what was probably a very painful death.
Margaux: Well, Vaughn did manage to set himself on fire before all this. He goes to Travolta’s boat shop because Travolta is lowly boat maker (LOL), knocks him out and doses the place (and Vaughn himself) in lighter fluid. Fucking moron doesn’t realize it and set himself on fire before burning down the place – he couldn’t even spray the lighter fluid in a scary way, he looked confused by it, like he never planned it out.
Trevor: I feel like – and I don’t know why I feel this way – there were a lot of boat makers in early 2000s movies. Although I can only think of two, John Travolta in this and John Cusack in Must Love Dogs. It’s such a bizarrely specific occupation.
The arson scene was hilarious, especially when Rick’s jacket caught on fire. That’s exactly the kind of shit that would happen to me.
Margaux: Exactly why it was even easier to buy into.
Trevor: Haha, you bitch. Is your name Rick Barnes? Cause that was a BURN.
Margaux: Nah, I got that straight from the Peggy Olson book of Talking Back to Men.
Yet I digress, the reason why you might’ve missed Domestic Disturbance in 2001 is because it’s by and large forgettable. But to full circle it a bit, unlike they do in this movie, the last shot of the film was the most abrupt cut scene of them all. Danny and Frank hop in his truck, after Susan is wheeled into an ambulance with the biggest hand wave about her having a fucking miscarriage, la dee da – father/son, going for a drive. They drive through the gates all, “Phew, that was a close one,” the end. Wow, thanks.
Trevor: Yeah, it’s like the movie gained sentience and decided it was over. Although I read on IMDb that there was around 23 minutes cut out of this, so I might not be too far off.
Margaux: Hahahaha that should be a new line added to the synopsis – “it gains sentience towards the ends and decides it’s enough.”
Trevor: I feel like we’ve spent more time thinking about Domestic Disturbance than either the writer or director did. You wanna talk stars? I’m leaning towards two; this isn’t a terrible movie, but it’s certainly not a good one. At the very least, it’s not as inept as Cursed or The Third Wheel, and certain people actually seem to be trying.
Margaux: Dude, I think you and I should make the shot-for-shot remake of Domestic Disturbance – that’s how much we know about it and possibly improved it.
Nothing will ever be as horrible to suffer through as The Third Wheel so if we’re judging things on that scale, it’d give this a solid two stars. Domestic Disturbance – I’ve had worse. That’s a tagline.
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