Not sure if FX is speaking directly to me or trying their hand at passive-aggressive Easter eggs with last nights episode title, “It’s Not For Everyone” but I’ll give The Strain the slow clap it deserves for the most entertaining episode yet. Which might not be saying much but the real feat of “It’s Not For Everyone” is The Strain finally showed signs that it actually might become the show we (or least, me) had hoped it’d be.
Sure, there were problems, namely the plotlines concerning the least interesting characters – Latin Gangster Who Loves His Mom and Old Guy With A Liver Thing, and the uneven tone that isn’t ready to go full-camp. Or is it? I have no idea but Pawn Shop Keeper and Goodweather teaming up to go all Highlander on NYC sure sounds campy.
Luckily, the episode hit the ground running, banking off of last weeks episode ender kill of Vampire Captain Redfern, so you’re not really asking questions. Well, one question, the rules of the vampirism virus are a little unclear at this time, besides the whole chop off their heads and burn ‘em bit. Example, does this affect animals the same it does humans? Like, is Gerdie the Dog gonna pop outta the ground with a taste for dog flesh or something? I suppose that remains to be seen, so I’ll try to stick with what we did see last night.
Directed by Keith Gordon, aka Rodney Dangerfield’s son in Back to School (thanks Trevor), a lot of the episodes jokey tone was distilled in Jim’s voice. During the completely disgusting autopsy of Captain Redfern, Jim was nice counter to Goodweather’s cool and calm demeanor; I don’t know about you but if I yanked out a six-foot python monster from someone’s throat – AFTER THEY ATTACKED ME WITH IT – I wouldn’t be all “Oh, bag and label this shit”. As Jim hilariously yells in frustration, Goodweather continuing to dissect a headless (face-less too?) Captain Redfern – each intestine he removes, grosser than the next – “HIS DICK FELL OFF…CALL IT IN”. And this is coming from the dude who kinda-sorta is partly responsible for unleashing this virus by letting that weird, coffin-box thing through JFK – AHEM JIM. Another high point, Jim coming clean about he knows and his role in letting the van through at JFK, The Night In Question, no longer dragged out. What Jim knows, isn’t much – he believes he was targeted to do this “favor” because he’s in debt and wife-cancer, other than that Jim truly believes that what he let through wouldn’t be harmful, according to him the soil tested was negative. Looks like a classic case of Jim being a dumbass! Punch in the face for you Jim.
Anyway, Jim’s admission costs him his friendship with Eph and the CDC Three are disbanded. And like, let’s face it, Eph really isn’t that great – just ask his wife and kid, HEY OH! But Nora might come around, by episodes end she proves to be the “bleeding heart” type but we’ll get to that later.
Cut to! Ansel, his vague Canadian accent, and overtly pious wife, Ann-Marie. She’s tried praying away what’s wrong with her husband since he’s returned from his flight but it seems like Jesus and Co are temporarily unable to help poor Ann-Marie at this time. Maybe that’s why she feeds her dickhead neighbor to her chained-up-in-the-shed, transitioning into vampire hood husband. To be fair, she’d had what most would call, a rough day. After sending away their children to Ansel’s sisters house, a decrepit Ansel chows down on the family German Shepherd Gerdie as his very first vampire dinner (Ann-Marie has the pleasure of finding and burying her) then, smartly chains himself up in the shed to spare his wife and family. When Ann-Marie finds her half-vampire husband in the shed and he tells her explicitly that he has a voice in his head, telling him to rip out her throat and drink her blood, and most importantly to RUN AND STAY AWAY – WHY DOESN’T SHE DO JUST THAT?!
I know, suspend disbelief – Ansel’s reveal was the jump-out-of-your-seat moment I’d been wanting.
In less engrossing parts of “It’s Not For Everyone”, Eichorst & The Old Guy with the Liver Thing hire some blond hacker to mess with the internet, slow it down and crash websites – why? Who the fuck really knows what these evil, old, possibly immortal white dudes are up to. But, apparently, the “miracle” Old Guy With A Liver Thing was promised is the new liver he needs…question mark? This plotline is messy as hell.
Thankfully, we conclude with the second house-call to the Arnaud’s, this time with Nora in tow. And Pawn Shop Keeper waiting in the darkness for them to be attacked so he can decapitate the vampire shell form of an 8-year old French girl and her Father with his sword/cane. Nevermind the logic behind the timing, PSK coming to the rescue all Liam Neeson style was awesome. Heads rolled, blood splattered and that house was getting burned to the ground. Unfortunately though, Nora hasn’t really turned the corner on this mass murder thing as quickly as Eph. Seriously, the second PSK Highlander’ed those French vampires, Eph was like – AW HELL YEAH PIMP, LETS DO THIS. Anyhoodle, Nora thinks there is another way they could do this, a cure or something, whatever girl – famous last words.
Next week, forget sad-looking Partners with Kelsey Grammar and Martin Lawrence, the real partners are Goodweather and PSK, chopping heads and burning shit.
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