“We’ll Always Have Baltimore” is of several different minds. While not a bad episode, strictly speaking, this is the most scattered installment so far of Orange Is the New Black‘s fourth season. At times it feels like little more than a series of vignettes. The downside to having an ensemble this big is that in trying to tell stories for all of them, you wind up giving short shrift to a lot of them.
To wit: am I alone in thinking that “Baltimore” would have been better served structured as something of a bottle episode, taking place in its titular location, where Caputo and Linda attend CorrectiCon? I’ve been to trade shows like CES and E3, and I gotta say, CorrectiCon is both accurate and very gross. The vendors and attendees are literally in the business of commodifying and quantifying human lives, and ethically the whole thing is just off-putting. The sequence isn’t meant to be pleasant – and it’s not, despite everyone’s sunny demeanor – and it’s saved from ham-fisted social commentary by Caputo. Nick Sandow is really enjoying his chance, these last two seasons, to shine, and when Caputo tells Linda he wants to help make inmates’ lives better, you believe it. He’s downed a whole pitcher of the MCC Kool-Aid, but it’s good to know he hasn’t lost his soul.
Or his mind, as is evidently the case with Danny Pearson, making a surprise appearance to berate Linda at a panel she’s appearing on. It’s great to see Mike Birbiglia back, with his trademark suit and sneakers ensemble, and Danny made a believable transition from corporate stooge to bleeding heart (he urges people to visit his website, DannyTalksTruth.com). But this, too, is not given enough time, as Orange is more concerned with getting Caputo and Linda into bed together (or at least into a storage closet).
I guess that’s my real complaint about “We’ll Always Have Baltimore” – the whole thing felt slight, especially on the heels of the superb “Doctor Psycho.” Hell, a lot of it was borderline insignificant. I can’t bring myself to care about Suzanne and Muccio’s hunt for the shower pooper, no matter how good Uzo Aduba and Yael Stone are together. Taystee Googling her fellow inmates is funny (“Poussey Washington” brings up porn and a picture of a cat dressed as George Washington; “Red” brings up the color red), but did it deserve the time it was afforded here?
To say nothing of Maritza’s flashback. I like Maritza, and her flashback played into her main storyline nicely. But again it seemed like OITNB took the easy way out. The flashbacks, traditionally, are brutal, sometimes excruciating to watch. It’s not a huge leap to assume that Maritza probably got sent to Litchfield for scamming people, but the show had one of its most uncomfortable set pieces – her test-driving a Maserati with her pretend boss and her pretend husband – and squandered it somewhat for the sake of a sight gag and a B- punchline.
The most traction gained was in Piper’s war against Maria and her gang – “gang” being Piscatella’s words, at least. Piscatella, like Caputo, genuinely cares about the prison, although he lacks the concern for the individual inmates that is more or less Caputo’s trademark. But after being stymied by the “bureaucratic Charlie Foxtrot” that is ordering tampons, he’s happy to take up Piper’s cause, racial profiling be damned. He and Piper have a fun back and forth, where he lets her know, in no uncertain terms, that just because he’s doing what she wants does not mean she has successfully manipulated him: “I like dudes. I will never find you adorable.”
I gotta say, though, this new group of guards is seriously concerning. I’ll assume that Orange Is the New Black isn’t trying to make some sweeping statement on veterans, but rather on the insular nature of their power: the guards are surrounded all day by women who are legally subordinate to them, and in their off hours they hang out with other guards. They live with other guards. Caputo’s housing arrangement is probably going to bite him on the ass pretty soon.
Look, “We’ll Always Have Baltimore” might be the season’s worst episode so far, but that doesn’t make it a bad episode. It’s just unfocused more often than it’s not. It dangles plotlines only to switch gears to something with far less impact. “Doctor Psycho” should have been a turning point, but “Baltimore” can’t help but feel like a backslide.
A Few Thoughts
- I love that Piper’s “Community Carers” group almost immediately became a white pride gang. Such a classic Piper Chapman backfire.
- Caputo, flirting with Linda: “You are the Cy Young of correctional purchasing.”
- Maritza, in a Maserati: “I just love hair metal!”
- So for now at least, Morello has become Muccio. Legally that’s her name, so I’m going to stick with unless it starts confusing me.
- I love that Danny stuck up for Sophia.
- Caputo’s computer password is “sideboobrulez.”
About Author
