I know it’s sort of a side note, but the intro really highlights how the gems have slowly been redesigned just a bit over the course of the show. Pearl got hers first, followed by Garnet in the season 1 finale. Now? It’s Amethyst’s turn.
The episode starts with Steven taking an online survey to figure out which of the Crying Breakfast Friends he’s most like. He tries to get Pearl and Greg to take the quiz, but they’re too busy fixing Greg’s van, which has always been one space wizard mural away from being the coolest van ever. Neither of them understand the appeal of Crying Breakfast Friends, so he runs off to see if Amethyst or Garnet want to take the survey.
Steven finds Amethyst making herself a sandwich, which apparently requires motor oil to complete, because Amethyst is much like Kirby in that she’ll eat anything, including inedible objects, apparently. He tries to get her to take the quiz. Amethyst doesn’t get the appeal behind Crying Breakfast Friends, either. She answers every question with a complete lack of focus.
She leaves before the quiz is done. Steven follows her to the temple door, which opens to find Garnet in Amethyst’s room. Apparently some monster Steven dubbed The Slinker bored a hole through solid rock and is now running loose in Amethyst’s room. In which case, it has plenty of places to hide, because Amethyst lives among piles of literal garbage.
Amethyst protests this invasion of her privacy, begging Garnet to let her find the monster. Garnet shoots her down; she knows Amethyst would just ignore the problem. Amethyst picks up a discarded gas mask and jokes around with Steven about it. She then pulls a human skull out of it. Ha ha, macabre.
Steven compares Garnet to one of the Crying Breakfast Friends, which reminds him that Amethyst still hadn’t finished the quiz. Amethyst doesn’t like the psychoanalytical direction that the questions have begun to take.
Garnet thinks she found The Slinker, and fires her fists at its general location. Any giant mecha pilot would be proud. She blows up a pile of crap, but no Slinker remains are found.
Amethyst begins breaking her own possessions, assuming that if they’re going to get wrecked, she’s going to be the one to wreck them. She knocks over what appear to be Pizza Steve’s sunglasses, along with an issue of Foine magazine. Remember when she ate Pizza Steve in that Uncle Grandpa/Steven Universe crossover? Oh, that was one of the only things about it that was truly good.
All of a sudden The Slinker wraps its tentacles around her, dragging her into a pile of garbage, like the noble kraken dragging a ship to the ocean’s bottom. She hits her form’s damage limit and returns to gem form. Steven sobs over the (temporary) loss of Amethyst, lamenting that she’ll be gone for two weeks like Pearl. garnet tells him that she’ll be back before he knows it.
Two seconds later, she’s back… with legs for arms and one giant ear. Garnet explains to Steven that Amethyst rushed her regeneration. Pearl’s regeneration is brought up, much to the annoyance of Amethyst. But it’s not a problem for much longer, since The Slinker busts through the ceiling of the tunnel, crushing Amethyst and returning her to gem form once again. Garnet tells Steven that it’s a good opportunity for her, as this time she can put more effort into coming back with a better form.
…Except she immediately comes back dressed exactly like Pearl, only with long, floppy ballet flats. Garnet is not pleased. Steven tries to get her to finish the quiz, however, all of her answers are parodying Pearls nature. Garnet and Amethyst argue over Amethyst’s form, but it doesn’t matter because The Slinker grabs her, and she poofs again.
Steven feels emotionally numb to the whole temporary death thing at this point. Amethyst comes back almost immediately this time, with a horrible mismatch of normal and beefy limbs. Garnet is getting sick of Amethyst’s shit. Amethyst goes all Leeroy Jenkins on The Slinker, and seems to be winning… until the strain of having come back so quickly several times causes her beefy arm to turn into spaghetti.
As The Slinker begins to crush her, She asks Garnet what’s expected of her, since coming back strong was what she took away from their earlier argument. Garnet tells her that she can’t tell her, that she has to figure it out for herself. Steven, however, realizes that she doesn’t want to think about herself. And then Amethyst poofs. Again.
Amethyst stays out for four hours, which is a new record for her. She comes back… looking almost the same as before. Actually, she ditched her 80’s workout sweater and patched the star-shaped holes on her knees. garnet approves, and so does Pearl, for her own OCD reasons. Everyone hugs, The Slinker was not caught, and the episode ends.
I liked this episode overall. I’m just mourning the loss of the 80’s sweater, but I’m probably biased. I’m guessing it’s probably easier to not animate it. I’m wondering when The Slinker will return, though. I’m also wondering what the next major thing will actually be.
Final Thoughts:
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That quiz seemed to be mostly unnecessary, considering Steven was already matching people up with the characters he thought they resembled.
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Four hours equals black leotard.
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Mismatched Amethyst vs. Trogdor the Burninator! Who’s your pick?
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