“All are welcome. All are watching.”
Any time I write about a found-footage movie, or an anthology movie, I always make the same stupid point: that the film needs a really good reason to justify its format. I didn’t even think about that while watching V/H/S 94, the latest entry in the venerable franchise, and the most current film we’ve ever covered for this column. I didn’t think about that because I was too enraptured. More than maybe any anthology film I’ve ever seen, this one has a clarity of purpose that streamlines and unites its disparate segments with aplomb. I’ll get into more details, but for now I’ll just tell you the same thing I told my group chat twenty minutes into watching this: V/H/S 94 fuckin’ rocks.
I won’t get too bogged down in describing the framing device; suffice it to say that it justifies a cameraman being involved (all the segments do, actually) and provides some pretty eerie imagery. V/H/S 94 takes a shotgun approach to its scares, which is a feature, not a bug. Chances are great that you’ll find something here to raise the hair on the back of your neck. You’ll especially have a good time if you like your horror movies bloody and gory, because there is an absolute ton of both on display.
For my money, the first short, “Storm Drain,” is the strongest. It takes the form of a news report, as field reporter Holly Marciano interviews Ohio locals about the local cryptid “Ratman.” Anna Hopkins is great as the beleaguered Holly, and she and Christian Potenza, as her cameraman, have a fun, thorny chemistry. As they venture deeper into the storm drain, they see signs of people living down there. Holly wants to turn sensationalism into human interest and unwisely ventures further into the tunnels. I won’t spoil anything, but I’m sure you can imagine how this unfolds. You’d be right, for the most part, but there are some fun twists and some well-executed jump scares. You also get the first look at the frankly stunning practical effects in V/H/S 94. This could be its own short film, apart from the larger anthology, and lose none of its potency.
The second short, “The Wake,” is vastly different from “Storm Drain,” and really slams on the brakes. It’s more moody, atmospheric horror, and it could be argued that it goes on a touch too long, although I’d counter by saying the payoff is worth it. (More killer practical effects.) Kyal Legend does nice work as Hayley, the lone employee of a funeral home, and there are some nice lived-in touches, such as Hayley taking her shoes off when she’s alone. It’s not very scary up until the very end, but Legend plays Hayley’s mounting terror nicely. The end is closer to Outlast-style horror than anything else, and here the first-person view of the camera goes a long way in making the audience feel as helpless as Hayley is.
“The Subject” is the longest short in the film, and probably the most disturbing. I’d rank it alongside “Storm Drain” for scariest, too. It’s like low-fi Asian sci-fi horror, showing the actual terror and tragedy that goes into sci-fi staples like mad scientists and cyborgs. It might sound cheesy, but it’s played straight enough that it winds up being not only terrifying but also deeply sad. Budi Ross delivers the film’s best performance as the crazed prosthetics scientist trying to merge metal and flesh. He’s scariest in his clinical detachment; the sheer banality with which he saws someone’s head open or hacks off a hand. This one shifts POVs a few times, which works wonders to its benefit. These are not sleek cyborgs that the doctor is creating; these are monstrosities, and we get to see them in full. Harrowing and heartbreaking, “The Subject” is close to perfect.
I know the last paragraph just talked about cyborgs, but “Terror,” the final short, manages to be the strangest. It’s eerie enough watching a far-right militia train in the woods of Michigan, but it gets downright strange when you see glimpses of their grand plan. There’s a man in a cage who they kill every night, and talk of unleashing something called only “the beast.” I won’t go too much into spoiler territory, but if “vampire blood rabbit IED” was on your horror movie Bingo card, get ready to cross it out. The ending to this one is completely gonzo, and once again the effects shine. I can say that the creatures in V/H/S 94 look unlike any other horror creatures that come to mind.
The film doesn’t quite stick the landing; the premise is somewhat undone and the acting here is subpar. That’s not really enough to move the needle on how I feel about the film. It’s not just that it’s scary – it is – it’s that it’s also so damn fun to watch. Not in a horror comedy way, or a B movie way, but in the way that reminds you why you like this genre so much to begin with. V/H/S 94 isn’t just one of the best movies I’ve ever watched for this column; it’s one of the best horror movies of 2021.
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